A photo shows the author.

But...why?

I was even happier when three women they approached had similar answers to slightly different versions of the same question: “Would you have sex with a Trump voter?” The responses were, in order, “absolutely not,” “no!” and “[puking sound].”

They pushed that angle hard pre-election...and it didn't work! Very epic. Also...maybe the voting men knew the women were lying anyway.

...in the bed of (someone who turned out to be) a Donald Trump voter.

You sound like a stable, and well adjusted person. What would your dad say? ...sorry, low blow. Now, I'm sure you have some important slutting to get back to.

I had only myself to blame, because there had been signs.

Fit, attractive, and responsible?

I suppose somewhere in the back of my brain I told myself, I’d rather just not know.

Because of the all important aforementioned sluttery.

It was 2020, fall. Like everyone else in New York, I was a nervous wreck.

You don't have to spell it out, we already knew.

I asked him if he’d been following COVID-19 rules as strictly as I had, and when he said yes, I decided that he was the something nice I deserved.

Women. That is all.

You see, I have a history of terrible men.

Shoooooooooocker.

One time, he was very aggressive with someone standing too close to him on the subway as we commuted after one of our nights together, and it frightened me.

Also...why won't men stand up for women anymore, right guys?! Where are the good ones?

He also posted to his Instagram a photo of an apparently unhoused man sleeping on the subway, which to me seemed pointlessly cruel — Patrick Bateman–esque, maybe, or even Trumpian. (Yes, I did just put them in order of scariness.)

...

He tended to complain a lot in the way that straight white men do more and more these days.

The only positive from this nonsense so far.

This sort of character vivisection is not at all on brand for me. I am and have always been a proud liberal. I treat my body as if it were a (fuel-efficient) car and wear my political beliefs like bumper stickers, to draw close people who are like me and ward off (and agitate) those who are not.

Shoooooooooocker.

As an adult, I became an emphatic supporter of cancel (or rather “consequence”) culture, axing people for all manner of misdeed, whether a simple political difference or a onetime gaffe that to me showed a rooted moral deficiency.

...

(One of my more joyous recent surprises has been seeing people I thought would be forever on my no-go list — Paris Hilton, Eminem — revealing themselves to have grown into inspiring, beneficent adults...

Perhaps the most retarded thing you've said so far, and that's a high fucking bar.

We're about half way through, and finally getting to the meat and potatoes...which is...nothing. It's just ThatHappened nonsense, way overdone. Just some 'men stupid and obnoxious children' spiel, and not even in a particularly believable telling. Not even really worth laughing at. What a stupid fucking article. But I had fun going through it, and it's interesting to hear what this type of shallow person's - who call others narcissistic - thought processes are like.

I told the story to anyone who would listen, waving it around as proof of my commitment to democracy and feminism and humanity. (Withholding his orgasm wasn’t purposeful, but it did give me a sadistic little thrill.)

Alright, last bit. She's still retarded. More news at eleven.

I am a fair-skinned, cis-femme, self-supporting New York Jewess, so unlike for many others, this man and his ideals posed little actual threat to me. (My Jewishness is something I can hide, though I don’t. I do the opposite, draping myself in a Mr. T level of Judaica-themed jewelry.)

I lied, the next bit was good too. More news at eleven, twelve...fuck it, to cover her retardation, the twenty-four hour news cycle is finally worth something. We'll need all those hours to cover this neurotic skank.

Instead, I’m hoping to come across a guy who gives me the feelings in my body Layaway Man once did, but the feelings in my heart and my brain that only a Kamala supporter could.

Alright, good luck on finding that unicorn.

Peace!