Listen, fat. Despite being elected with the most votes in American history, I'm dropping out of the campaign for some mysterious reason. But I'm still qualified to serve as president, you dog faced pony soldiers. Want to do a push-up contest out behind the woodshed? Corn pop will referee.
Number one: I'm the first college in my family to President to 81 billion, I mean million, I mean 81 trillion dollars. Um, votes.
Anyway, number three, I have full competence, I mean cognition...uh...confidence in Vice President Trump to take on former President Harrison to the woodshed, but I'm not endorsing her, I mean him, cuz his legs are too hairy, uh, not hairy enough, to win the trunalimunumperzure. Uh, election.
And num...uh...number 2, we need to lower the temperature of the water in my bathtub.
Not believable enough: