Ladies (men too, but I think men tend to understand this semi-intuitively), hear me out; whenever you go into a male dominated space, or heck, any space that you're unfamiliar with, don't treat it like an extension of your normal world.
Instead, treat it like you just stumbled upon some obscure tribe that's been separated from the rest of the world, and try to understand the local customs, rather than wondering why it doesn't comform to what you expect it to be.
This is just speculation on my part, but I believe men have worked hard over the millennia to make you feel safe, however as a consequence, men have had to shield you from the harshness of the real world. Consequently, men's and women's social evolution (at the very least) has diverged in regard to psychological needs. Men need a place where conflict is allowed as much as one where it is not. This need for conflict must be expressed in some form, while still maintaining the 'safe space' for women, so men create spaces where they can engage in ribald humor, semi-mean-spirited banter and simulated and.or controlled violence.
actually, we just need women to stay out. men need "safe spaces" away from women. women change the dynamic. women bitch, hen-peck, and complain. women are concerned with male attention, not with whatever the male space is about. they're perfectly happy ruining it if it gains them attention and clout.
do not let them in. ruthlessly gatekeep or be prepared to find a new space/hobby/club/organization.
I'd agree with you, but occasionally, you'll get the (extremely) rare tomboy who is more of a guy than most of the guys.
And I don't mean posers, I mean somebody who you can tell is actually into whatever the hobby might be, and likes it just fine the way it is, thank you very much.
Ladies (men too, but I think men tend to understand this semi-intuitively), hear me out; whenever you go into a male dominated space, or heck, any space that you're unfamiliar with, don't treat it like an extension of your normal world.
Instead, treat it like you just stumbled upon some obscure tribe that's been separated from the rest of the world, and try to understand the local customs, rather than wondering why it doesn't comform to what you expect it to be.
This is just speculation on my part, but I believe men have worked hard over the millennia to make you feel safe, however as a consequence, men have had to shield you from the harshness of the real world. Consequently, men's and women's social evolution (at the very least) has diverged in regard to psychological needs. Men need a place where conflict is allowed as much as one where it is not. This need for conflict must be expressed in some form, while still maintaining the 'safe space' for women, so men create spaces where they can engage in ribald humor, semi-mean-spirited banter and simulated and.or controlled violence.
actually, we just need women to stay out. men need "safe spaces" away from women. women change the dynamic. women bitch, hen-peck, and complain. women are concerned with male attention, not with whatever the male space is about. they're perfectly happy ruining it if it gains them attention and clout.
do not let them in. ruthlessly gatekeep or be prepared to find a new space/hobby/club/organization.
I'd agree with you, but occasionally, you'll get the (extremely) rare tomboy who is more of a guy than most of the guys.
And I don't mean posers, I mean somebody who you can tell is actually into whatever the hobby might be, and likes it just fine the way it is, thank you very much.
sidenote: I think what we need are "unsafe spaces" more than 'safe' ones, lol.
More accurate to the purpose =D