Original post: https://www.aaronrenn.com/p/stop-shaming-men
Archive post: https://archive.ph/JzmQy
It’s one of the most well known facts in social science that women initiate the vast majority of divorces – around 70% or so depending on the source you look at. It’s a fact I have never heard an evangelical pastor mention. In fact, as one feminist scholar found in her academic research, in evangelical sermons ‘women are framed primarily as receivers of divorce rather than initiators.’ And, while there have been improvements, divorce court and child custody practices still favor women. . . . It’s also worth asking what Blake – and by extension the rest of the evangelical leadership class – are doing to reduce these risks, help men manage them, or to create an environment in which men have a better chance of marital success. The answer is basically nothing. . . . They could tell men, “Get married and we’ve got your back.” But they don’t. Instead, should some man actually get married and any troubles arise, they will almost certainly blame him for it.”
Evangelicals, is there nothing they can't fuck up?
At least you're thinking about how to prepare him, my parents gave me fuck all for advice when I was growing up and even approaching them later in life...well my dad's advice was basically to get lucky. So yeah, you're doing better than the previous generation at least.
The world your parents grew up is completely gone. My parents are the same way, they have no clue what the current dating scene is like. They just say, "It'll happen when it happens" and prefer to avoid the discussion entirely.
I can relate to that. My parents didn’t prepare me for anything either. I fell into just about every pitfall there was when I was in my twenties. I learned every lesson the hard way. My son will have to make his own choices but he’ll have my guidance to fall back on.
I can assure you that my own were even less helpful. Their boomer perception was even more ancient, since they got married almost right after high school, so they had a very short period of actually experiencing any kind of a dating scene. Back then, blind dates or dating people within a circle of friends was common. Or just asking out a fellow high school student in the neighborhood.
So they really didn't have any remotely usable advice. And good luck on anything even resembling emotional support in the area. A Vulcan or an Android would've been able to provide more meaningful feedback.
That last line…damn.