Thanks, and you're right. That's a good way to word what I was trying to say.
It's something of a fine balance. Like it IS a worrisome state of affairs with just how many perfectly successful and happy people are deliberately choosing to never have kids.
But like you said, trying to go too far into the opposite extreme isn't necessarily going to lead to a healthy situation either.
And you're right. I used to try to talk myself out of the idea entirely. And for a long time, it worked, because I didn't understand or fathom why I'd want to take on such a responsibility. Eventually I came to understand how important that responsibility can be. How meaningful. And that it's something to work towards and aim for, within one's ability.
There is a reason why most parents start by accident and then never end up regretting it. Because its easy to convince yourself out of it forever, logically it makes sense to never, but once you just jump in it works itself out and you find a way to make it happen for them.
But most people on "our side" of this "culture war" don't think logistics. They just say to pump out kids and never consider that society is built around making sure you don't do that. We can't just have mom quit her job to be a housewife and then create our big family, not without a lot of luck and an amazing job, even if that is the best way to do it. Its just not feasible and would only create suffering for everyone to do it. So its up to all of us to do the best we can, not some pipe dream utopia.
Aye. It's a very easy thing to put off or avoid, until suddenly a person realizes they've just about run out of time.
I think what helped me put things in perspective was to realize just how integral raising a child can be just as part of the overall human experience. It's part of the very essence of biological life itself.
But even so, like you say, there are a lot of variables to factor in, both on the small scale and the large scale, and I think you put it far more eloquently than I can.
At the end of the day, one child is unlikely to make or break a person unless they are in an extreme position. And even one is worth having just to get your thoughts in line.
Because breeding is all life is meant to do, and our hormones and instincts are geared to it. Avoiding it will have consequences we cannot even fathom due to how deep they effect us. Its why so many of the redditors there are fucking miserable and can't understand why, and are lashing out at the answer in front of them.
I completely agree, and that falls in line with everything that had led to me changing my former tune.
Not that I'm a father yet myself, but I think developing at least some appreciation and understanding of it is a good part of the process. Maybe having given it some serious thought ahead of time will prepare me better for when I find myself actually becoming a father.
It's sad to see some of my friends who are very much well off and in healthy long-term relationships write off and reject the idea so thoroughly and adamantly. I used to think maybe it was just a phase a person had to enter into, based on age and experience, but now I'm not so sure that's the common case.
Thanks, and you're right. That's a good way to word what I was trying to say.
It's something of a fine balance. Like it IS a worrisome state of affairs with just how many perfectly successful and happy people are deliberately choosing to never have kids.
But like you said, trying to go too far into the opposite extreme isn't necessarily going to lead to a healthy situation either.
And you're right. I used to try to talk myself out of the idea entirely. And for a long time, it worked, because I didn't understand or fathom why I'd want to take on such a responsibility. Eventually I came to understand how important that responsibility can be. How meaningful. And that it's something to work towards and aim for, within one's ability.
There is a reason why most parents start by accident and then never end up regretting it. Because its easy to convince yourself out of it forever, logically it makes sense to never, but once you just jump in it works itself out and you find a way to make it happen for them.
But most people on "our side" of this "culture war" don't think logistics. They just say to pump out kids and never consider that society is built around making sure you don't do that. We can't just have mom quit her job to be a housewife and then create our big family, not without a lot of luck and an amazing job, even if that is the best way to do it. Its just not feasible and would only create suffering for everyone to do it. So its up to all of us to do the best we can, not some pipe dream utopia.
Aye. It's a very easy thing to put off or avoid, until suddenly a person realizes they've just about run out of time.
I think what helped me put things in perspective was to realize just how integral raising a child can be just as part of the overall human experience. It's part of the very essence of biological life itself.
But even so, like you say, there are a lot of variables to factor in, both on the small scale and the large scale, and I think you put it far more eloquently than I can.
At the end of the day, one child is unlikely to make or break a person unless they are in an extreme position. And even one is worth having just to get your thoughts in line.
Because breeding is all life is meant to do, and our hormones and instincts are geared to it. Avoiding it will have consequences we cannot even fathom due to how deep they effect us. Its why so many of the redditors there are fucking miserable and can't understand why, and are lashing out at the answer in front of them.
I completely agree, and that falls in line with everything that had led to me changing my former tune.
Not that I'm a father yet myself, but I think developing at least some appreciation and understanding of it is a good part of the process. Maybe having given it some serious thought ahead of time will prepare me better for when I find myself actually becoming a father.
It's sad to see some of my friends who are very much well off and in healthy long-term relationships write off and reject the idea so thoroughly and adamantly. I used to think maybe it was just a phase a person had to enter into, based on age and experience, but now I'm not so sure that's the common case.