Currently eating in an extremely hipster local café (like, stereotypically so) - not by choice, but family…
It’s run by women, I suspect for women. It’s… I fucking hate it. It’s the kind of place that refused to serve “unwashed” like me, for two years…
But even now, everything has a little sign on it. “Do not touch” this. “Do not walk here”. “Do x, y and z before entering”, “Warning”, and most egregiously of all “You cannot use this table for more than x minutes, depending the value of what you order”…
Woke shit everywhere. Mostly black American woke shit, which is extra annoying, in Australia…
Eugh…
I can tolerate the rest, but all the micromanaging fucking signs, all over this junk-filled shithole, it’s very… In your face.
They just love their petty little rules, don’t they?
Tell your folks you hate it already. If you want to avoid getting into a political discussion, then just say that the food is awful even if you don't think it is. Make it clear to them that you are NOT going to eat there anymore and that they'll need to either find some other place to go with you in tow, or accept that you'll just be going elsewhere.
Just say the food gives you explosive diarrhea and you saw the chef not wash his hands in the bathroom.
Nobody would question you further.
Always a good excuse! Better yet, it has a chance of steering them away from it forever!