the idea that you can’t criticize from outside, or that as lefties say, you have to “stay in your lane,”

Like all leftist "principles", this only applies when it's convenient for them. They think that their own degenerate behavior should be beyond criticism but they're perfectly happy to police others. I once saw a bunch of troons dumping on the sigma male concept. Some naive bastard showed up and inconveniently pointed out that "all labels are valid" under LGBTQAIAODADSNO ideology and that by that logic they shouldn't judge the sigma male label. It went about as well as you would expect. They're not against "judging labels", they just want to be the ones doing the judging.