I was talking with a coworker (leftist no less, but an old man who's just extra naive) about this whole thing about kids and growing up. But, it got me thinking about how growing up so many things were left to me to handle on my own. There was no magic to swoop down from the sky to save me from a problem, and if I freaked out about it like a toddler that would have just made more problems for myself.
A specific example I remember when I was 16 I wrecked my car. Outside of finding out if I was hurt, my dad pretty much told me "I guess you have to ride the bus to school until you figure out how to fix it". That was it. I made an adult problem for myself and was left to deal with it. There was loads of stuff when I was older and younger too. My computer would break, well it's mine I better fix it. I wanted to buy something, well I better figure out how to get the money. It was super rare I got bought things outside of things like birthdays and holidays. Hell, I even ordered DSL internet (all the rage back then) as a 13 year old and met the techs to have it installed and all, parents weren't even home and I called and ordered it myself even (I had permission to order it, btw).
Now, it's like everything is a carefully prepared walled garden for kids. Here's your iPad, go play your games and whenever it needs a credit card just scream and rant enough and I'll buy you some more microtransactions. Oh, did you drop it? Well we will go buy you another one right now. Oh no, you don't suck at sports (I am atrocious at sports), it's the coach he's not being fair you deserve to be good too. You wrecked your brand new car we gave you with a bow on it for your birthday, that's horrible. Let me get you a rental while it's in the shop. Don't worry we will make sure that the rental is something cool.
I had similar. My parents always gave me an allowance. $30 per month, and it was mine to spend how I pleased. But as I started getting older, this started be an extremely constrained budget, especially as I got interested in gaming.
I asked for a raise.
They said no.
I asked how to get it up.
They said get a job.
So once I was old enough, I got a job. And it was my job to get to work on time, take care of my own car (though my parents were nice enough to pay for the cars and repairs as long as I passed it along the chain to them). But any money I made I could spend however I wanted, though my parents gave me the advice to save a certain percentage of my paycheck.
On that note, its also left me as one of the most financially stable in my friends group. Most of my friends who didnt have those rules spend their money almost as soon as they get it, and are always saying how they want to eat out or get games but dont have the money.
Meanwhile, I am over here going "You dont understand! I have less than $4,000 in my checking account! I am LITERALLY Destitute!! I am going to be living on rice and hot dogs for the next few weeks until that situation is solved."
EDIT: Another thing that I dont know if it is related to the above point, but I have also noticed that I tend to overestimate how much money I am spending, and am surprised when I see I have more in my account than I thought, while they tend to underestimate how much they are spending.
I was talking with a coworker (leftist no less, but an old man who's just extra naive) about this whole thing about kids and growing up. But, it got me thinking about how growing up so many things were left to me to handle on my own. There was no magic to swoop down from the sky to save me from a problem, and if I freaked out about it like a toddler that would have just made more problems for myself.
A specific example I remember when I was 16 I wrecked my car. Outside of finding out if I was hurt, my dad pretty much told me "I guess you have to ride the bus to school until you figure out how to fix it". That was it. I made an adult problem for myself and was left to deal with it. There was loads of stuff when I was older and younger too. My computer would break, well it's mine I better fix it. I wanted to buy something, well I better figure out how to get the money. It was super rare I got bought things outside of things like birthdays and holidays. Hell, I even ordered DSL internet (all the rage back then) as a 13 year old and met the techs to have it installed and all, parents weren't even home and I called and ordered it myself even (I had permission to order it, btw).
Now, it's like everything is a carefully prepared walled garden for kids. Here's your iPad, go play your games and whenever it needs a credit card just scream and rant enough and I'll buy you some more microtransactions. Oh, did you drop it? Well we will go buy you another one right now. Oh no, you don't suck at sports (I am atrocious at sports), it's the coach he's not being fair you deserve to be good too. You wrecked your brand new car we gave you with a bow on it for your birthday, that's horrible. Let me get you a rental while it's in the shop. Don't worry we will make sure that the rental is something cool.
I had similar. My parents always gave me an allowance. $30 per month, and it was mine to spend how I pleased. But as I started getting older, this started be an extremely constrained budget, especially as I got interested in gaming.
I asked for a raise.
They said no.
I asked how to get it up.
They said get a job.
So once I was old enough, I got a job. And it was my job to get to work on time, take care of my own car (though my parents were nice enough to pay for the cars and repairs as long as I passed it along the chain to them). But any money I made I could spend however I wanted, though my parents gave me the advice to save a certain percentage of my paycheck.
On that note, its also left me as one of the most financially stable in my friends group. Most of my friends who didnt have those rules spend their money almost as soon as they get it, and are always saying how they want to eat out or get games but dont have the money.
Meanwhile, I am over here going "You dont understand! I have less than $4,000 in my checking account! I am LITERALLY Destitute!! I am going to be living on rice and hot dogs for the next few weeks until that situation is solved."
EDIT: Another thing that I dont know if it is related to the above point, but I have also noticed that I tend to overestimate how much money I am spending, and am surprised when I see I have more in my account than I thought, while they tend to underestimate how much they are spending.