1. Take something lying around or buy something from a store. Anything will do, though it's best if it's something large that you wouldn't typically see in a painting or sculpture.

2. Put it on a pedestal, positioning it is an unusual way if possible.

3. Sign your name on it and date it.

4. Give it a pretentious name.

Congratulations! You're an artist in the tradition of Marcel Duchamp. Enjoy $1,000 a month courtesy of the taxpayers of San Francisco.