They're just contrails, youre crazy!
(media.scored.co)
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But the planes making vapor trails aren't the ones coming in to land. They're in mid-flight and unlikely to be climbing or descending very much at all. They can easily throttle up or down if (for example) headwinds increase or decrease. No need to put unnecessary strain on the aircraft by making unneeded maneuvers.
They don't fly in a straight line on long distance hauls, they use the curvature of the Earth to make the trip shorter! You know that of course. That means a big curve on the map, but essentially straight while in mid-flight. Scheduled turns (course adjustments) are common I'm sure.
A lot of the ones I've noticed looked pretty clearly on a higher stage of an ascent, but I've also rarely noticed zig-zags. They could be fighter jets, which fly around a lot more than most might think and aren't super predictable in what they do.
Still though, I'm checking out of this discussion now. I'm not sure there's an on ramp to convince me, and it's because of what I said before. I just do not have the mindset to sprint to maximum complicated conspiracy when the easy solution is feasible. If the government/world were to alter weather or poison the populace or something, they could find much simpler ways than a complex conspiracy to secret manipulate passenger airplanes for decades to distribute whatever. Sometimes the answer is the obvious one, not the full tinfoil hat.