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posted ago by LastRights ago by LastRights +22 / -0

Finally decided to watch it.

What happens when you scrape together a shit ton of old stale crap and dump it all over the MCU Spider-Man franchise? You get 'No Way Home'. Being reminded of all those bad movie versions of iconic Spider-Man villains does not make for a good movie.

The metallic version of Green Goblin was always bad. No one needed to be reminded of Jamie Fox's race-swapped Electro (funnily enough, pairing electric powers with black characters was considered a racist trope back in the nineties). Did they ever explain why Octavius wasn't a shredded bullet sponge? Did the Lizard even have a role to play? I can't even recall the motivation for Sandman from the 'original' movie or what compelled him. And where was Venom? (Aside from the end sequence bit part.) They were obviously going for a 'multi-dimensional' Sinister Six approach. Venom would have at least made having three Spider-Men worth the time.

What else sucked?

  • Somehow coming up with solutions to all these 'supervillains'' problems within a couple of hours in a high school laboratory.
  • Why would MIT be a problem? Stark Enterprises via Happy would probably remove this obstacle with the snap of a finger. Why would he turn to Dr. Strange for a solution?
  • And why was Dr. Strange rushing into dangerous spells without carefully planning the perimeters? It went wrong because Dr. Strange allegedly had to modify the spell mid-casting. He was also a medical doctor, which means he should know that good preparation is one half of a successful surgical procedure.
  • When things went wrong, they didn't go back to Dr. Strange and instead tried to solve it themselves.
  • Where was Wong? He may have decided to stay out of things, but once the fabric of reality was ripping apart, he should have returned.
  • Where were the Avengers? This screamed an Avenger problem as soon as the Sinister Six appeared. In the comics, Spider-Man always had help dealing with all six.

Tobey Maguire looked like shit by the way.