White men are the modern Sisyphus
(media.scored.co)
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the computer is what I use to find suggestions but I have nowhere to really go for information, most places ban me and most people get fed up with me and refuse to help when they see how helpless I am. I've been reliant on my mother for everything my entire life and I am unwilling to do anything I don't have permission for because of how reliant I am on her.
I'd rather die. I'd be entirely cutoff from the world and forced to live a life of misery and suffering.
You're wasting time on your computer all day. Not finding suggestions, you're gaming for hours on end instead of putting in some actual fucking effort.
People get fed up with you because you're an aggressive asshole. Learn to stop acting like an aggressive asshole. They refuse to help you because you're an aggressive asshole.
Well then you'd better start doing something different then, because your current pattern of waste time on the computer, yell at your family, and be a massive piece of shit online isn't helping.
You know the definition of insanity, right? You've been doing the same exact fucking thing for the past 8 years and expecting a different result.