Because that’s the bargain we accept in exchange for rampant stolen valor.
In the real world, women shrink away from virtually all danger.
Women flee war while their men are conscripted to die.
Female cops wait for male police officers to handle the violent criminals.
Women rely on men to fight fires and rescue people.
Women enjoy the cushy office jobs while men build and maintain all of the infrastructure.
So when you watch or play or read some piece of media that features a 50/50 split with women occupying all of these dangerous and heroic roles - which they virtually never occupy in real life - it’s just dishonest and retarded. It’s a false experience that doesn’t map into our observable reality.
We can tolerate this nonsense if and only if the female characters involved are idealized. Are they nice to look at? Are they pleasant to interact with or read? If yes, then maybe we suspend disbelief and try to have some fun. That’s why men don’t object to hot, agreeable Mary Sues.
But the moment these liars are also made to be ugly bitchy feminists, there’s no motivation for us to continue suspending our disbelief. You’re an unrealistic girl boss and butt ugly and an asshole? Gee, where do I sign up?
Well that kind of thing can't really progress until we remove discrimination laws and acts from the books, because as long as those can be held over people's heads they will need to leave the loophole open to avoid its ire. We need to remove these cancers from their source rather than setting off easy traps trying to rush to principled walls.
This is especially a problem as this year has shown how bad of a problem the activist Judge tumor is, and the SCOTUS above them aren't as reliable as we need to trust that.
A solution that is "same end result, even if the principle is violated" is a necessary stopgap to keep necessary things like our military running until society returns to some sanity.