it's just a fantasy and they don't want to actually go through it.

Most of them want to go through with it in a "noncon" setting. If the man is attractive enough, the main qualifier for them to trust him because women, they will basically let him get away with all sorts of roleplay brutality to the level that if the cops were called it would still get you charged with the crime regardless of her consent.

You don't even need the consent half the time, just be dominant enough and she will soak herself that you just did it to her. Not the rape part, but the rest of the roughness that comes along with it, obviously.

Its a common enough problem for the modern standup joke "I'm not going to rape you on the off chance you are into that" being less joke and more a real issue in the dating market.