I really like this girl so I want to help her. In the beginning our relationship was pretty good but I saw signs of some social skills problems. I thought she was just a little socially immature but I chalked that up to other reasons and felt maybe she could improve.
As she got more comfortable with me she actually got significantly worse. I thought she just was naturally not liking me and we weren't compatible but I soon realized she literally hit nearly all the symptoms of autism and not a little, to the max. I would bet my life on her being autistic so I'm not looking for anyone to cast doubt on my diagnosis. She's just good at hiding it as best she can and frankly, I had no prior experience with autism so I wasn't really trained to catch the signs. I don't think her parents are aware either (for various reasons) and she can't keep friends long enough for them to truly understand. I might be the only one with enough perspective to diagnose it. I asked her if she would be willing to go to a psychologist to help with her anxiety issues but she refused because she's scared of them.
Any advice on how to bring this up to her? I'm thinking maybe just tell the mom but I'm not sure the mom will believe me or do anything about it. The dad would be worse.
I was about to just call it quits on our relationship because it's def not working but I do think if she accepts she has autism and works with me it could potentially work. She's given 0 indication she thinks she has autism and she works in social work with disabled people and had training on autism so I suspect she's potentially in denial or scared of accepting it.
Looking for some advice.
Break up with her. Why would you complicate your life with this? I’ve never regretted breaking up with a girl, but I sure do regret staying in relationships longer than I should have. You WILL regret sticking around.
She'll probably be the last serious girlfriend I have so I figure since we managed for over a year despite her autism, if there was a way to potentially salvage it and make work, it'd be fine. I'm slightly on the spectrum myself but more legitimate social awkwardness rather than autism. She's the first gf I've had that lasted longer than a month in the last 10 years.
Man, believe in yourself. You can do better.
Did I mention she's also a 9/10 (not exaggerated)? There's a reason she's single though, yeah... But there's an opportunity here, perhaps... Lol.
I read the whole thread before commenting, but it was incredibly obvious from the very first post that your autistic girlfriend is very physically attractive and almost certainly way out of your league (in terms of looks). That’s the only reason a man ever puts up with this level of bullshit.
Anyways, don’t do that. Sure, plowing a super hot girl is awesome in the moment. But you will always be negotiating the rest of your relationship from a deficit. You will let her steal your peace and dictate your development, all in exchange for an asset that devalues rapidly after 30.
There are a lot of red flags here, but the biggest one is actually you compromising your preferences and comfort for a temporarily nice ass. Take away the sex and what do you really have?
It does suck, though. The ideal woman in 2025 is at least a little autistic. Yours just sounds too far down the spectrum.
Well I’m not gonna lie that does change things haha
Not having that long term experience is probably the hard part, it'll probably take the first time living with one and sharing bills before you realize not having a girlfriend is way more preferable than having a bad one, especially if you're not after kids.
Relax, take your time, don't spend so much of your finite energy improving them when you could be improving yourself. Women will still date older men if they like what they see. They also are fine with a self-possessed man who breaks a few harmless social norms if he's doing what he does well. Wait till you find that not giving a fuck comfortableness with what you are and just aim to be the kind of guy teenage you could still look up to.