guys I grew up with had a moment in their 20s when they realized the only options for "pleasing" women needed them to banish their own personal restraints and disgust and actively treat them like shit in bed, or else should would be dissatisfied and go find a new guy.

I casually dated a 19-year-old girl when I was in my late 20s, and she legit wanted me to beat her during sex. When I say "beat" I don't mean spank or slap, I mean she wanted to be hit, closed fist, in the torso and face. I was so far beyond uncomfortable with the situation and told her as much, and her response was to insult me and cut off all communication. That was actually a relief.