I met my wife on Tinder specifically because of a model-level headshot I posted that was professionally edited with photoshop (Friend of mine wanted some practice editing and did it for free). Every single match I had reached out because they said the headshot looked good, and no other reason. Not saying I'm a super attractive guy or anything but it was clearly looks that got my foot in the door.
I know lots of other guys who never got a single Tinder match and it's because their photos were unattractive. They ended up saying Tinder was a "scam" and that "no one meets anyone there."
Granted, most men aren't exactly going to swallow the advice of 'Just get a professional photographer to take your photos so you have a chance of getting a date on tinder' very easily, even if you're right.
Getting metaphorically punched in the balls yet again with the reminder that men have to jump through hoops while women just show up doesn't exactly encourage a healthy mindset.
Plus, there's the added mythology that women don't really pay attention to attractiveness(which is bullshit), so they're getting hit from both sides.
If every man gets a professional photo shoot done, then it becomes the minimum standard and no longer puts you above other men. Same with the "get jacked bruh" advice wheeled out at every opportunity.
Unfortunately in life there will be winners and losers and unlike being injected everywhere else, there is zero appetite for equity in dating.
Once everyone has a professionally done photo to stand out, no one has a photo to stand out. Same with every guy trying to get jacked.
You're right that there are simply some winners and some losers in the game of life, and it's about navigating the waters to the best of your ability without purposely losing yourself in an unfair and lopsided mating game.
I'm not sure why you would think women 'just show up,' they put extreme effort into their photos.
Really, improving your headshot is one of the easiest and cheapest things men can do to improve their odds. Cleaning yourself up and looking presentable is hardly a harsh imposition.
I assumed most people on Tinder these days wanted quick hookups. If that sort of impression is felt by others, and adding the negative results of your acquaintances, it might make sense to make that claim.
Obviously you found someone there, so maybe my assumption isn't accurate?
It depends on when he found her as well. My understanding is that the algorithm sucked a lot less prior to 2017 or so. It's definitely a hookup app, but the gap between standards for hookup and LTR are shrinking. Women are getting more and more willing to take their cats and wine if they can't have a billionaire Gigachad.
It's a scam is a completely viable complaint about sites like Tinder and if you found your wife there you got incredibly lucky. Yeah presentation does matter but you come across as somebody who like most married guys were lucky enough to find their family hugbox and you're completely out of touch.
This is why I respect Sargon still after all these years because he's one of the few guys that actually went out there and asked people about it. Not everyone will remember but I did a pretty detailed rant on exactly why these sites really are scams and it's easy to do the maths to back it all up.
Don't take this as me shitting on you specifically it's just as a single guy I've seen this attitude many a time especially from older guys and it creates a completely false impression of dating sites. Most of the profiles are just scammers or bots to fill up the place and make it look like there are women there. You probably got extremely lucky because of the area you are in and that's often what dictates what kind of women you can get.
In my area for example because it's exceptionally leftist, I think it was the dating app hinge that I used because that's the most popular one right now for normal dating allegedly. It was filled with nothing but single moms, NHS nurses and barely disguised prostitutes or crazy women coping with their fur babies, almost none of these women were normal it was actually pretty terrifying for a guy like me. Oh and a number of them were self-admitted alcoholics even by general standards, that's clearly all they did for a hobby.
Social mobility is the name of the game when it comes to young men finding real partners. I wouldn't even bother with online, go travelling and learn a language, that's my plan. Your whole attitude like most people who got laid off Tinder reeks of "It worked for me therefore everybody else is wrong".
If these sites actually cared about getting guys girlfriends they wouldn't operate themselves like night clubs trying to ratio genders in order to scam as much money out of people as possible. They would also do way more to get rid of bot and scam accounts but they let them operate with impunity because it bumps up the user numbers.
I think you're responding to the wrong person? I completely agree that dating apps are a scam, but as much as they exacerbate the problem they're not the cause. The fact is that as long as women have unreasonable expectations building a functional dating app is impossible. It doesn't excuse all the sleazy shit the apps pull, but women's entitlement is going to create a shitty experience no matter what the apps do.
And arguably, it's worse than that - women are more than willing to be misrable, but even worse are the ones basically allowing for defacto harems where one Chad basically runs through a horde of women, and the women let him.
That... yeah, that's not going to end up anywhere good.
It was in the very early days of Tinder. Nowadays I hear the meat market is actually instagram. Having a couple good photos really improves your chances.
I don't know why men are so resistant to the idea of putting effort into their appearance. I always say that women need to stop complaining and accept reality, but that goes for men too.
I met my wife on Tinder specifically because of a model-level headshot I posted that was professionally edited with photoshop (Friend of mine wanted some practice editing and did it for free). Every single match I had reached out because they said the headshot looked good, and no other reason. Not saying I'm a super attractive guy or anything but it was clearly looks that got my foot in the door.
I know lots of other guys who never got a single Tinder match and it's because their photos were unattractive. They ended up saying Tinder was a "scam" and that "no one meets anyone there."
Granted, most men aren't exactly going to swallow the advice of 'Just get a professional photographer to take your photos so you have a chance of getting a date on tinder' very easily, even if you're right.
Getting metaphorically punched in the balls yet again with the reminder that men have to jump through hoops while women just show up doesn't exactly encourage a healthy mindset.
Plus, there's the added mythology that women don't really pay attention to attractiveness(which is bullshit), so they're getting hit from both sides.
If every man gets a professional photo shoot done, then it becomes the minimum standard and no longer puts you above other men. Same with the "get jacked bruh" advice wheeled out at every opportunity.
Unfortunately in life there will be winners and losers and unlike being injected everywhere else, there is zero appetite for equity in dating.
This.
Once everyone has a professionally done photo to stand out, no one has a photo to stand out. Same with every guy trying to get jacked.
You're right that there are simply some winners and some losers in the game of life, and it's about navigating the waters to the best of your ability without purposely losing yourself in an unfair and lopsided mating game.
I'm not sure why you would think women 'just show up,' they put extreme effort into their photos.
Really, improving your headshot is one of the easiest and cheapest things men can do to improve their odds. Cleaning yourself up and looking presentable is hardly a harsh imposition.
A bit off topic, but
I assumed most people on Tinder these days wanted quick hookups. If that sort of impression is felt by others, and adding the negative results of your acquaintances, it might make sense to make that claim.
Obviously you found someone there, so maybe my assumption isn't accurate?
It depends on when he found her as well. My understanding is that the algorithm sucked a lot less prior to 2017 or so. It's definitely a hookup app, but the gap between standards for hookup and LTR are shrinking. Women are getting more and more willing to take their cats and wine if they can't have a billionaire Gigachad.
It's a scam is a completely viable complaint about sites like Tinder and if you found your wife there you got incredibly lucky. Yeah presentation does matter but you come across as somebody who like most married guys were lucky enough to find their family hugbox and you're completely out of touch.
This is why I respect Sargon still after all these years because he's one of the few guys that actually went out there and asked people about it. Not everyone will remember but I did a pretty detailed rant on exactly why these sites really are scams and it's easy to do the maths to back it all up.
Don't take this as me shitting on you specifically it's just as a single guy I've seen this attitude many a time especially from older guys and it creates a completely false impression of dating sites. Most of the profiles are just scammers or bots to fill up the place and make it look like there are women there. You probably got extremely lucky because of the area you are in and that's often what dictates what kind of women you can get.
In my area for example because it's exceptionally leftist, I think it was the dating app hinge that I used because that's the most popular one right now for normal dating allegedly. It was filled with nothing but single moms, NHS nurses and barely disguised prostitutes or crazy women coping with their fur babies, almost none of these women were normal it was actually pretty terrifying for a guy like me. Oh and a number of them were self-admitted alcoholics even by general standards, that's clearly all they did for a hobby.
Social mobility is the name of the game when it comes to young men finding real partners. I wouldn't even bother with online, go travelling and learn a language, that's my plan. Your whole attitude like most people who got laid off Tinder reeks of "It worked for me therefore everybody else is wrong".
If these sites actually cared about getting guys girlfriends they wouldn't operate themselves like night clubs trying to ratio genders in order to scam as much money out of people as possible. They would also do way more to get rid of bot and scam accounts but they let them operate with impunity because it bumps up the user numbers.
I think you're responding to the wrong person? I completely agree that dating apps are a scam, but as much as they exacerbate the problem they're not the cause. The fact is that as long as women have unreasonable expectations building a functional dating app is impossible. It doesn't excuse all the sleazy shit the apps pull, but women's entitlement is going to create a shitty experience no matter what the apps do.
Statistical outliers gonna statistical outlier.
And arguably, it's worse than that - women are more than willing to be misrable, but even worse are the ones basically allowing for defacto harems where one Chad basically runs through a horde of women, and the women let him.
That... yeah, that's not going to end up anywhere good.
It was in the very early days of Tinder. Nowadays I hear the meat market is actually instagram. Having a couple good photos really improves your chances.
I don't know why men are so resistant to the idea of putting effort into their appearance. I always say that women need to stop complaining and accept reality, but that goes for men too.