The "be a better man" preachers ignore that in the old halcyon days of "the patriarchy", most men weren't chadly beasts who kept their women on a tight leash or fit the ideal of the Uber Husband any more than men do now. Women were controlled by social and legal pressure of the greater society. If you told your wife what to do, a (good) woman just did as expected out of social obligation, loyalty, and fear of being destitute on the streets. So men do have to try much harder these days simply because the power dynamic is so out of balance, but it's not a result of individual guys being failures.