To start this I am going to point out that 1994 is one of the best years for film...ever. Below is a link showing the list of all the top grossers of the year and you'll see dozens and dozens of classic films, so many that you can't believe they all came out the same year.
https://www.the-numbers.com/market/1994/top-grossing-movies
Out of all those absolute bangers my personal favorite film of 1994 and my favorite film of the entire 1990's is number 30 on that list: The River Wild.
This was a summer blockbuster which got pushed back to fall to avoid major releases that year (Forrest Gump and True Lies namely). Because it got pushed back the box office was not actually that wonderful, however it found new life on VHS and become a beloved underground film.
The genius of this film lies in its simple storytelling, well written characters and incredible acting. Meryl Streep, Kevin Bacon, David Strathairn, John C Reilly, Benjamin Bratt...this had a stellar cast. The director was Curtis Hanson, the man responsible for LA Confidential and a few other gems. This is a story of a white, upper-middle class family going through marital problems. The Father, Strathairn, is the kind of Dad you won't find today in films: he's committed to his job and his family, intelligent, brave when he has to be, IMPERFECT but ready and willing to risk his life for his wife and son even if they are growing distant from him. If you want to show boys what a good male role model is, then show them this movie. He's treated maturely, with intelligence and it feels realistic. All the characters feel real, and Meryl Streep and Bacon both do incredible jobs. Reilly is underutilized but giving all the other actors more time on screen makes sense because of how beautifully fleshed out they are.
By the end of the film you are invested in the characters and at no point does anything happen which pulls you out. It is the most grounded, realistic film I've ever seen. Streep may be a shitty Hollywood asshole but she can act. Or she could.
Many people here in their 30's or 40's probably remember this film fondly. It was made to take advantage of the 'fad' of white water rafting, so for the last 30 years I've assumed that it is safe from the current remake obsession in Hollywood. I was wrong, because of a chubby cunt by the name of Ben Ketai.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2406892/?ref_=tt_ov_dr
This moron is the writer and director of the 2023 "reimagining" of The River Wild. I was not aware this 'reimagining' was even in the works, of course it was released on Netflix.
There are a number of unforgivable changes made. Obviously the positive white middle class family was removed, that couldn't stay. The helpful Native American cop is gone (shockingly). I couldn't figure out why they would remove a minority role...but then the cast was revealed. Family: gone. The positive male role model: gone. Actually all the characters are changed, literally no character is carried over in any aspect.
In place of this well written white family is now a weird array of orphans and their friends / fake siblings. Here's a picture of them.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21291992/mediaviewer/rm1554392321/?ref_=tt_md_3
The casting is atrocious. Taran Killiam? Adam Brody with face tattoos? Leighton Meester? It's a bunch of attractive younger people who are all doing the same archaic hobby that nobody is interested in nowadays? Sure.
On top of that they expanded the cast by quite a bit, adding many new roles and of course having a black chick who serves no purpose for 99% of the film. She's just...in the boat with them constantly, given no real purpose or lines. Her job is to look as black as possible and later to save the day when she magically escapes and apparently teleports to a nearby city to find someone with a helicopter all within 5 minutes. None of that is ever explained but the character is window dressing for 99% of the time.
The lead female character is of course perfect. She's a doctor who holds everyone together and is perfect in every aspect. It's tiresome to keep seeing these characters. There's no point in explaining further you all know the perfect female character that can do no wrong and knows everything.
Even with the obvious 'reimagining' choices I couldn't see how they could fuck this film up. With improved CGI and drones SURELY white water rafting scenes could now look badass, right?
Wrong. They basically pull out 90% of the rafting scenes. It's now a story about some clueless assholes floating down a river being pricks. Adam Brody is an ex con who hilariously makes every stupid decision you can think of...for no reason. Naturally he's also a sexual abuser, which every 'bad guy' white villain is now, and of course he's also Superman.
I'm not exaggerating on this point they have him flying around without even sweating. He can engage in a 15 minute long drag out fight then immediately sprint for 10 minutes and catch up to a boat floating down a fast moving river. All without breathing hard.
The characters changed. The plot changed. The POINT changed. And for what? Who the fuck is going to watch this movie?
Go see the original, this 2023 version is the worst "reimagining" so far. Out of all the films to ruin...why the fuck did they choose this one.
The point is never to make something new, the point is to forever tarnish the image of the original. You said it yourself that the original has a positive White male father. Destroying every single depiction of that archetype is the gay commie agenda in a nutshell.
Now going forward, every search will find the new one, any discussion will have to include the new one, and even any references will have to distinguish between the original and the remake.
This is also why they want control over search engines: to help make sure any time anyone searches for "The River Wild", they only see the 2023 version.
God damn 1994 was a good year for movies!
The Jim Carrey year. That was really impressive. It was also Jurassic Park, but it didn't make as much?
Jurassic Park, so fucking good.
Of course, the sequel had to have a ''badass black teenage girl curb-stomping a dinosaure''.
I'm still less offended at that then I am at them just letting the "Animal Rights Group" get a shit ton of people killed for no reason, then just walk away like they didn't do that. Like the entire plot and almost all the deaths come from them, and then they just walk away with no consequence.
It feels like they had to add Peter Stormare's character in as a cartoonishly unlikable member of the Hunter's group just because Peter Postlethewaithe was making it super unbalanced in their favor of looking like the good guys when they were clearly supposed to be the "bad mercenaries working for the bad guys."
But I suppose that was the trend they carried into the entire World trilogy, where they can't make a single good environmentalist message or character without them coming across as retarded and willing to let infinite people die for their "principles."
You got me there.
Well JP takes place on some kind of lawless islands right? The isolation was on purpose. I'm not sure whose job it would be to enforce the law and whether they'd be interested.
Every character in the movie belongs to the company. They are all InGen, either under Hammond or his bad guy nephew. Hammond literally gets ousted as CEO because of an incident on one of the islands at the start of the plot.
Even then, narratively as a film it presents the position of "these characters do not deserve punishment as they did nothing wrong" by simply forgetting they exist after all the damage they cause.
Which, is the entire purpose of Jeff Goldblum's character. To constantly condemn and lecture people on their wrongs even when the law doesn't or won't apply. That's all he has ever contributed to the series, but coincidentally doesn't do so this one time while still blaming other people for the "incidents" later on.
I only really remember the plot of the two books. I guess this is an "I don't have a TV" statement, however I don't think I was paying much attention to the plot of JP3 and on. I have seen them, but like who pays close attention? Not me.
Well this was the plot of JP2 I'm talking about.
There we go. I was really wondering. There was now way it could be in 120 something place.
That is a good one to remember.
I remember Street Fighter came out in 94, which means that Raul Julia passed away the same year.
Dammit, now I'm sad because I remembered Raul Julia had to drop out of Desperado because of his illness.
Reading about his last movie because he wasn't strong enough to climb a ladder, and yet played one of the best villains ever made.
I'm surprised that the flintstones was #5, I didnt think that movie did so well despite it being gold compared to today's adaptations. Why did they wait half a decade to try for a sequel then?
Flintstones was similar to a lot of modern movies in that a lot of people liked it and saw it, but the media fucking hated it. So it gained this huge reputation of being god awful and the worst and that "everyone" hated it with the only redeeming quality of John Goodman being literally the perfect casting.
Once enough time past and the media moved on, could they finally begin to talk about it more.
Seriously with all the changes made why even name it after the original movie? The OG did well in the box office but aside from its one-off story it doesn't have any form of "brand recognition". I mean there is nothing unique about people going rafting so why worry about plagarism. Now not only is your movie shit but it becomes shittier when its going to be compared to the original movie its trying to subvert. Why put yourself in this position? Arrogance?