Lefty boogieman
(media.kotakuinaction2.win)
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The state of Florida offers free banjo lessons for residents at heritage gatherings for just this reason.
You would be surprised how quickly salesmen, leftists and Jehovah's Witnesses run away from the house with a big truck in the yard and the owner sitting on the porch with overalls, mirrorshades and a black Stetson on playing a banjo.