This might apply less if your brain is less broken than mine. Like, I’ve only just realized that having had three different Facebook accounts in the last 11 or so years (starting over again each time) is considered highly unusual, to most people… As is not having a “professional” career. As is being a “loner”/not really having a friend group. As is being perpetually single in your twenties. As is not having a degree. So…
I’m well aware that I’m far from “the norm”.
But holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alienated from “normal society”, or so… Fucking isolated. Even compared to during lockdowns… Everyone I know is getting married, having kids, expressing the same damn opinions, and just generally… Moving on a path that I’m not sure I can follow…
I’ve tried. I’ve really, really tried, but it’s just like… When everyone around you says and thinks the same (apparently), and follows the same damn path, and then doesn’t include you in it (most hurtful thing: fucking none of them inviting me to their weddings. Not even my “best friend” growing up), it’s easy to feel like some sort of crazy freak…
Things seem to be getting more and more like this, too. Like, with how far away, collectively, society gets from its “roots”, or any sort of… Moral grounding, it’s hard not to feel like the crazy one…
I dunno. I’m spiralling. Today has been another reminder that I’m just… Probably not able to keep going, unfortunately.
But it’s hard not to already feel like I’m pushing against a giant wave of wacky bullshit that everyone else is more than happy to go along with, even if some of us drown in it along the way. 😔
I'd take that as a sign that they weren't really your friends to begin and exposed themselves.
Either way, as you get older, you don't have as many friends (if at all). Even your own friends are going there separate ways.
INB4 TheImp, but this is why you find a good woman that you can spend the rest of your life with. You don't have to marry, but you're gonna want someone around.
Your self-talk sounds like shit. You gotta fix that because it's gonna make you depressed and the more time you spend alone, the more it matters.
Here's a link to the audio book of Cernovich's, "Gorilla Mindset". Just sit through and listen to the first few chapters.
https://youtu.be/Fjh5gknoRb4
The TL;DW is that, you wouldn't talk to a friend like how you talk to yourself, so learn to view and rephrase things in a positive manner.
If you're a NEET, you gotta change that.
Pick up a trade like plumbing or electrician. About a year or two's worth of learning and you can make a good living.
Save your money and put it towards investments. Keep reinvesting those profits, too.
Also, hit the gym. You've heard this a million times by now so I won't go any deeper, but it's true.
Looking good = feeling good.
Gym thing is tricky, because I also have a chronic illness which... Fucks with a whole bunch of stuff.
I can really only manage fitness, right now. Might be able to do some strength stuff, when this relapse wears off (if it does. It's been three weeks), but yeah...
A lot of shit in my life hasn't necessarily been as the result of shit choices on my part - my life has just... Unfolded in a shit way.
Which sounds like I'm making excuses. Fine. But fuck. Every time I try and sort shit out, and get back on my feet, something fucking awful happens.
My savings get spent on healthcare. That's... Just where they have to go. It's important to bear that in mind.
Take it one step at a time since it's a lot to get into, more so for someone in your situation.
It's a good thing that you made this thread because there's lots of people like you and it's nice to know they're not alone. There's also a lot of people that got out of similar struggles and you should feel better knowing that you can do the same.
BTW don't be afraid to ask for help, like if someone knows of any job openings or has advice on careers to pursue. RW circles are very helpful and all you need is that one connection to turn your life around.
Hope your health improves. Take care.
Thanks man. ‘Preciate it. Honestly, I’m at the point now of “Fuck it, I’m just going to try a bunch of shit and see what sticks.”
Which means shit like messaging a few “missed chances” and seeing where that’s at. It means just doing shit “my way”, and trying, trying to be a little bit “better”…
This morning was awful. I “reconnected” with someone from my childhood, only to be told how perfect their life was now, and how successful and content they are, despite being younger than me. So… Fuck it.
Yeah, I’m the jobs thing. Maybe I should ask, hey?
Unfortunately things vary hugely by jurisdiction, though.
Found out yesterday that you now need a diploma (1 - 2 years study) to be a fucking arborist, in this country…
I just… Like, for fuck’s sake. It’s getting pretty ridiculous, the “pre-training” required for anything, in Aus. 🤷🏻♂️
People often talk up their situation and many are truly miserable under the surface. I have seen behind the curtain on a number of people, and their reality does not reflect their image.
You’re probably right about the friends thing. However that raises the conundrum that all my friendships did that. Which means what? I had no real friends? Is that it? That’s the shatter point…
Admittedly, that should have been clear when I moved away, and barely heard from any of them again, but I’m the common factor there. That’s the particularly shitty thing about it…
But yeah, I’ve never gone out of my way to catch up with any of these people again, after they left me out. I’ll say that much.
Hence the isolation, though. 🤷🏻♂️
Would you treat your friends like they treated you? If not, were they really your friends or was your "friendship" contingent on something superficial?
For example, if you had lots of money, you'd have lots of friends because you're spending that money with them. But the moment you can no longer make money, they'll disappear from your life. Those people aren't "friends".
No, I would never have treated them the way they treated me. And yeah, that's pretty much it. "Oh, you're depressed? Nah, that's too hard. Bye now."
Or, "Oh, you're still not married? You still don't own a house?". Nah, don't really want to talk to you...
"Friends", hey?
If I ever get married, I probably won't even do a ceremony, because those are the kind of people I know (mostly), unfortunately.
At this point, fuck 'em.
Trades are the same length of training/apprenticeship here as a degree is. In fact, longer, actually (five years).
It’s more practical for me to get the degree, at this point. It just is. No matter how much I might struggle with that…
Agree with most of the rest. Doubt I’ll make it that far, though, tbh.
It’s not “self talk” as much as it is just reality, at this point. It’s not like I’m not trying…
Re: years: it sounds like it's based on location.
You know your situation better than I do, but I'll just say: be sure you have a job lined up when you complete college cuz you're just gonna be holding a worthless piece of paper + debt and you know how disadvantaged you are in today's corporate environment.
It's both. You felt down about your friends selling you out and blamed it on yourself. You're also not happy with your life, but you shouldn't blame yourself for how your friends treated you. Either way, use that as motivation to improve your life.
Yeah, valid.
I guess in the end, life isn't fucking fair, and it so happens that I've had a lot of shit happen to me that perhaps other people (even around me) haven't...
It's frustrating, because I don't want much. I just want the normal shit: a decent job that I don't hate, some friends (ideally), a partner, stable accommodation.
I've worked hard, but I've got none of that. After a while, that becomes really, really disillusioning.
You ever heard the song "Khe Sanh" by Cold Chisel (Australian band)..?
It's about a returning Vietnam vet, and his disillusionment with society after coming home.
Of course, I've never served, but a lot of the shit it talks about, seeing old friends "married and knocked up", and coasting from job to job, while never really fitting in..? Yeah, I really feel that right now...
And it's really fucking tiring.
Can you afford a port-a-torch kit? Harris makes it, but it's sold under the Lincoln Electric label too. It doesn't take that long to learn it honestly, and you can up your handyman skills. Might be able to buy a vehicle to carry it in, too.
He's already mentally fucked, you shouldn't add suicidal ideation.
Has it ever occurred to you that comments like these are the reason all the "bots" hate your guts?
Don't bother replying, I already know the answer.
So I should just let people be pushed into the second most deadly ideology after transgenderism?
.....heterosexuality?
Gee thanks man.
Really needed to hear that.
"Mentally fucked". Woo.
You were just a annoying, now I sincerely wish you'd get permabanned.
Somewhat funnily enough, actually, I’m already at your second point.
For some people, reaching that point is an impulsive thing. For me, it hasn’t been.
I’ve been thinking about it for a very, very long time.
Slowly, but surely, the things that “held me here” have slipped away. And now? I’m kind of “ready”, to be honest.
So… I don’t need a woman, or a relationship, to push me to that point. I’m there already. I’ve been there a lot longer than I’ve been on this damn forum.
If that changes, great, but I’m rapidly running out of “hope” that it will.
And I know that’s not funny, or witty, or anything I might usually try to bring, but… I’m just not up to that right now.
Sometimes life is too shit to make light of it. 🤷🏻♂️
Thanks for some of your advice, anyway. It’s been useful, sometimes.
But I’m just done, frankly. And that is… Not even “sad”, anymore. It just is.