This might apply less if your brain is less broken than mine. Like, I’ve only just realized that having had three different Facebook accounts in the last 11 or so years (starting over again each time) is considered highly unusual, to most people… As is not having a “professional” career. As is being a “loner”/not really having a friend group. As is being perpetually single in your twenties. As is not having a degree. So…
I’m well aware that I’m far from “the norm”.
But holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alienated from “normal society”, or so… Fucking isolated. Even compared to during lockdowns… Everyone I know is getting married, having kids, expressing the same damn opinions, and just generally… Moving on a path that I’m not sure I can follow…
I’ve tried. I’ve really, really tried, but it’s just like… When everyone around you says and thinks the same (apparently), and follows the same damn path, and then doesn’t include you in it (most hurtful thing: fucking none of them inviting me to their weddings. Not even my “best friend” growing up), it’s easy to feel like some sort of crazy freak…
Things seem to be getting more and more like this, too. Like, with how far away, collectively, society gets from its “roots”, or any sort of… Moral grounding, it’s hard not to feel like the crazy one…
I dunno. I’m spiralling. Today has been another reminder that I’m just… Probably not able to keep going, unfortunately.
But it’s hard not to already feel like I’m pushing against a giant wave of wacky bullshit that everyone else is more than happy to go along with, even if some of us drown in it along the way. 😔
Take it one step at a time since it's a lot to get into, more so for someone in your situation.
It's a good thing that you made this thread because there's lots of people like you and it's nice to know they're not alone. There's also a lot of people that got out of similar struggles and you should feel better knowing that you can do the same.
BTW don't be afraid to ask for help, like if someone knows of any job openings or has advice on careers to pursue. RW circles are very helpful and all you need is that one connection to turn your life around.
Hope your health improves. Take care.
Thanks man. ‘Preciate it. Honestly, I’m at the point now of “Fuck it, I’m just going to try a bunch of shit and see what sticks.”
Which means shit like messaging a few “missed chances” and seeing where that’s at. It means just doing shit “my way”, and trying, trying to be a little bit “better”…
This morning was awful. I “reconnected” with someone from my childhood, only to be told how perfect their life was now, and how successful and content they are, despite being younger than me. So… Fuck it.
Yeah, I’m the jobs thing. Maybe I should ask, hey?
Unfortunately things vary hugely by jurisdiction, though.
Found out yesterday that you now need a diploma (1 - 2 years study) to be a fucking arborist, in this country…
I just… Like, for fuck’s sake. It’s getting pretty ridiculous, the “pre-training” required for anything, in Aus. 🤷🏻♂️
People often talk up their situation and many are truly miserable under the surface. I have seen behind the curtain on a number of people, and their reality does not reflect their image.
True. Still, if I had what they had - spouse/long-term partner, job doing what they love, kid, degree, stable accommodation, maybe even a home they own - while I might not be truly "happy", I am 100% sure I would be happier than I am now.
So, you're right, but... It still fucking sucks, even though I try not to compare.