Just imagine. The entire modern economy, pretty much anywhere, but certainly in any “Western” nation, is now based on the idea that everyone male and female, works full time…
Universities have become wholly female-dominated. So have many, many professional fields. Most workplaces cater to the wants of middle-class women. So does most government messaging. So does the entire “field” of HR and recruiting…
At the same time, birth rates are crashing to totally unsustainable levels. Children aren’t raised properly at all, and are shipped off to “childcare” or to older relatives, as early as possible. Parents no longer no, or care, how to raise kids.
Cook for your family? Congrats, you’re an outlier. Most people seem to view cooking as some sort of “luxury”, and instead base most meals on either frozen shit, or takeaway and deliver, depending on their background…
Marriage is broken, and hell, most millennials don’t even bother with it. Divorces are higher than ever, and many couples barely even see, or talk to, each other, let alone their kids, anymore. So many kids are from broken homes, now, whatever their background or race…
Yet jobs are still flying offshore (never mind automation. It’s not there yet), and immigrants are still piling in to every Western country, partly to keep the birth rates up, and partly to keep house prices and rents ever increasing… Oh, and to push wages down, of course.
This, despite more “locals” working than ever before. This, despite women demanding ever more catering to from corporate, and all of the “equity” bullshit…
There’s no way any of this is sustainable, and yet it is everywhere… In every single “developed” country.
Some people here like to talk about Russia, but christ, look at their birth rates. Look at China, too. It’s not just “American allies and adjacents” that this is affecting. It’s almost everywhere, with a few very notable exceptions…
Amazing to think that “women's rights” and runaway corporatism, plus unlimited contraceptives (arguably) may be what dooms us, let alone all the trans kids raised on hormones shit…
I would say that maybe some parts of humanity can still correct this ship, but I’m not so sure anymore…
I doubt even in 1980 people would have thought that fucking Nigeria and India would inherit the Earth, but here we are…
/rant
I’ve always struggled with your last question…
I think that comes from having a fucked-up upbringing, unfortunately…
But I couldn’t live with that reality, I don’t think.
Then again, if I had a loving wife and kids, I could be happy. But that’s… That feels impossibly hard, at this point.
It’s really hard to explain, but I just… That really doesn’t feel possible, at the moment. Which is… Well it adds to the pain, let’s say.
And that’s despite me being a fairly charismatic (perhaps Borderline, idk) extrovert…
People pretend to love me, but then when you need them? None of them are ever there…
I don’t know. I just… Don’t know.
I said this in a group the other day: the most important thing is to feel valued; to feel that you matter. Whether that be to one person, or to many.
Without that… I personally cannot see the will to go on.
Which is, of course, entirely a matter of perspective, but… That’s how I see the world.
I used to try and be “valued” by volunteering for all these different organizations. They just chewed me up and spat me out. I don’t think I could ever go back to that. So…
Yeah, maybe I’m just a Borderline. Who fucking knows.
I would just love for something to “go my way” for once, though, you know? Because that just doesn’t seem to happen…
I definitely understand feeling exploited. I've spent an entire career excelling only to see the same people who we're asking me for help with their projects yesterday promoted past me today because they're female, or minority, or the boss hangs out with them on the weekends.
The trick is to only give what you need to. I've heard the phrase "if you're a giver, you have to know your limits, because the takers don't have any" and it's true. I no longer volunteer for projects or try and improve my workplace, because I know I'll get nothing in return. But, as others have said, work is simply a vehicle to obtain money. As long as they pay me what I want, I'll stick around. I just won't hinge my self esteem on what they think of me.
I would caution you against thinking that a family would solve your problems. Once you're comfortable with yourself without external validation, things seem to fall into place- that may include a family, or it may not. Everything the MGTOW group says about women is true; you will likely find new levels of exploitation and mental abuse if you cohabitate with a woman.
The trick is getting beyond trying to find self-actualization from extrinsic sources like other's opinions of you. You have to learn to be comfortable with yourself in your own right.
True. This I struggle with.
I… Really haven’t been able to find that comfort within myself. Ever. Unfortunately…
But when life is so shit, I guess that’s no surprise, sadly. Ha…
So, I've got this elderly neighbor who's in pretty bad shape and needs a lot of help. I started doing little things for him like changing lightbulbs and giving him rides.
At first I "volunteered" my help but what happened is, he just kept taking. He would call constantly and, if I didn't answer, he'd knock on my door. At this point I was a single working Dad with two young kids and I didn't have time to jump when he called.
Eventually I had to set him straight and, after that, I started charging him. Not a lot (he's living off government support) but enough to drive home the message that my time is valuable. After that, he became much more judicious about asking for help.
The point is, you need to value yourself, or no one else will. You can "volunteer" at every place in town but all it will do is show people you can be taken advantage of (imo, volunteering os for businesses and politicians trying to convince people they "care"). You need to expect at least a token compensation.
For what it's worth, I appreciate you posting stuff. But I don't "value" it in terms of financial compensation. It's too bad if you can't post anymore, but I hope it would be because you were putting more time into yourself, rather than giving up on life.
Oh, yeah, I didn’t mean being “valued” in the sense of people paying me.
I just meant like, hypothetically, feeling like… Someone needs you around. Like you are of “value” enough in their life that if you weren’t there, their life would be materially less… “Good”, in some way, if you know what I mean?
So I agree with the general sentiment, it’s just that…
I guess I meant something slightly different to financial “value”.
You know, like how people value their partners, or a close friend, or something?
I don’t have that anymore.
Frankly, in hindsight, I’m not sure I’ve ever really had it.
I can't say that I can relate to what you're going through, my friend, because I haven't really experienced your kind of struggles in my life. If I remember right, you've said that you're Australian in past posts, so the chances of ever physically attending would be slim, buuuuut...
Have you considered a good Bible-believing, and preaching church? I can tell you right now with 100% certainty that God is the only reason I have hope for this world. And not "Hope" in the sense of "Gee, I hope that I don't catch that really slow red light on my way in to work.", but it's more of an assurance. I believe that this is going to happen, and that is a kind of peace that you can't put into words.
If you'd like, I would be more than willing to give you the website of the church I attend. We live stream and record every sermon, and the staff is happy to help you with any questions, or even just talk with you and pray for you if that's what you need.
Sure, sounds good dude.
I don’t know if PMs exist on here, but would be interested to hear more.
I’ve been to church a few times, but not regularly (well, not in a long time). But yeah, would be interested. Cheers!
Man's value is innate. Having gone through (or going through) most of the same things, two things keep me going.
One, I have picked a thing that I have wanted to make happen for years (restarting the family farm), and I am making that happen, and fuck the doubters and the critics with clean hands.
Two, I have embraced my faith. Everything that is happening has been foreseen. Too much worry is evil. "Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit to his stature?"
Get a dog. Not kidding, they're great companions.
Yeah, I have a family dog. He’s great. I look after him a lot.
I’m just not in the position in life, currently, to take on one of my own. It would be entirely irresponsible and unfair on the dog. And make renting incredibly hard, which just wouldn’t be far on myself right now…
I’ve also dated plenty of dog-owning women, and it just… They put too much into the whole “dog parent” thing. They’ve replaced parenting with that. Which…
Look, I dunno. I just think, a) it can become a bit too much of your identity, sometimes (like with those girls), and b) I really wouldn’t want to put the dog in a situation where it couldn’t live a fully decent life, you know? And I just can’t really give it that, atm.
So I just look after other people’s dogs, including my parents, instead.
So yeah, I agree. But also all of that.
I have thought this through in some detail, though, as you can see, hahaha.
In a better life, I would definitely do this. But for now, the family dog fulfills that. For now.