I'm not getting "the woman", I'm getting a number.
I used "get" as a broad term. Getting a number is covered under this, as you are trying to start a relationship of some kind. (Again, "relationship" here is meant in the broad sense).
As for desperation; I made it a small number per month so I don't come off as desperate.
You have made it a goal to get their number, so you will be trying to get their number. They will know this from your interaction and you will be the opposite of aloof, which will work against you. If you end up having several bad interactions in a row, you will try harder to achieve your goal, which will make it worse.
... a particularly bad string of dates turned me off from bothering with women since before COVID lockdowns.
It's only going to get worse if you make it a goal. Dating is already a mindfuck, as you probably know, and trying extra hard to date means you will be pressuring yourself to deal with the mindfuck better. Instead, the best way of dealing with it is usually stepping away, rather than trying to better next time, yet setting a goal will push you towards the latter.
I suppose in different terms, my point is that you goal is entirely dependent on things you can't control, i.e. how other people respond. You shouldn't be setting a goal based on things you can't control, as you will be pressuring yourself to "do better" when the problem might not be yourself, but other people and simple luck.
I used "get" as a broad term. Getting a number is covered under this, as you are trying to start a relationship of some kind. (Again, "relationship" here is meant in the broad sense).
You have made it a goal to get their number, so you will be trying to get their number. They will know this from your interaction and you will be the opposite of aloof, which will work against you. If you end up having several bad interactions in a row, you will try harder to achieve your goal, which will make it worse.
It's only going to get worse if you make it a goal. Dating is already a mindfuck, as you probably know, and trying extra hard to date means you will be pressuring yourself to deal with the mindfuck better. Instead, the best way of dealing with it is usually stepping away, rather than trying to better next time, yet setting a goal will push you towards the latter.
I suppose in different terms, my point is that you goal is entirely dependent on things you can't control, i.e. how other people respond. You shouldn't be setting a goal based on things you can't control, as you will be pressuring yourself to "do better" when the problem might not be yourself, but other people and simple luck.