This is literally you suggesting that Putin is being more humane than most western powers have been in major military conflicts over the last 70+ years.

Effectively, perhaps. By design, no. Powers are humane or not based on whether there is any benefit to be had by pretending to be so.

Whether he’s doing it out of cynical strategy or not is irrelevant because we cannot know that one way or the other

He's a politician. We can know that it's a cynical strategy.

Worth noting: the people who were most confused by Putin’s restraint were the same people who advocated immediate and unrepentant carpet bombing (aka shock and awe) in our own military conflicts.

If this was restraint, then I think they mistook his restraint for weakness.