The dudes are either sleeping around themselves or are just beta cucks who can't do any better
Typically men sleeping around are almost never in a poly relationship because they don't need to be. The ones who can get it on demand don't want a social anchor to impede things.
The "men" who are "poly" tend to be desperate enough that not only will they "share" with other "men" but without fail when these groups post pictures of themselves it literally a ham planet and several stereotypical beta [or worse]orbiters that can't do any better who embody the concept of neckbeards and soyboys.
Most women do not want this kind of man as a partner, and for the ones who can't do any better they don't want to be stuck with one all the time hence a "poly" group where the woman gets to feign being able to pick from several options and not have to spend all her time with one of them if she doesn't want to.
Polyamory is almost always suggested and initiated by a woman in a relationship who wants the following:
To sleep with specific other men, and they will be specific and likely ones she already picked out before even bringing up the topic.
To keep the existing relationship because of the safe backup it provides in terms of emotional, monetary, social, and living support.
To be the only one who is actually poly.
First off it is almost without exception universally easier for a woman to fuck someone than it is for a man. In terms of supply and demand they are the supply side for sex. Yes there are men out there who will be the ones in demand but they are the top 20% going by reports made by dating apps where 80% of men are considered 'average or below'. Which means roughly 50% of women in some dating apps only focus on the 20% of their options. And this 50% includes literal "5s" who still don't really have to put in much effort to get someone to fuck them.
So any woman who goes from "in a relationship" to "open" is going to sleep with someone else probably before her boyfriend has even considered who his options might be. It could even be the same day if not hour the conversation happens.
Second, if women are being smart about this, and by "smart" I mean "insidious", any women looking to leverage the idea of polyamory to best work for her will initiate the topic, already have her target[s] planned as outlined in point 1, sleep with them asap as outlined in point 2, and then pull a sob story after if/when the man makes any headway with his own possible partners. A sob story that will be half "I don't want to lose you/[my safety pick]" and half "It's not what I wanted/thought it would be", and of those two halves the former will be true while the latter will not.
She doesn't want to lose the safety pick, but she definitely got exactly what she wanted from her slut speedrun before the boyfriend had a chance to also hook up with someone else.
Typically men sleeping around are almost never in a poly relationship because they don't need to be. The ones who can get it on demand don't want a social anchor to impede things.
The "men" who are "poly" tend to be desperate enough that not only will they "share" with other "men" but without fail when these groups post pictures of themselves it literally a ham planet and several stereotypical beta [or worse]orbiters that can't do any better who embody the concept of neckbeards and soyboys. Most women do not want this kind of man as a partner, and for the ones who can't do any better they don't want to be stuck with one all the time hence a "poly" group where the woman gets to feign being able to pick from several options and not have to spend all her time with one of them if she doesn't want to.
Polyamory is almost always suggested and initiated by a woman in a relationship who wants the following:
To sleep with specific other men, and they will be specific and likely ones she already picked out before even bringing up the topic.
To keep the existing relationship because of the safe backup it provides in terms of emotional, monetary, social, and living support.
To be the only one who is actually poly.
First off it is almost without exception universally easier for a woman to fuck someone than it is for a man. In terms of supply and demand they are the supply side for sex. Yes there are men out there who will be the ones in demand but they are the top 20% going by reports made by dating apps where 80% of men are considered 'average or below'. Which means roughly 50% of women in some dating apps only focus on the 20% of their options. And this 50% includes literal "5s" who still don't really have to put in much effort to get someone to fuck them. So any woman who goes from "in a relationship" to "open" is going to sleep with someone else probably before her boyfriend has even considered who his options might be. It could even be the same day if not hour the conversation happens.
Second, if women are being smart about this, and by "smart" I mean "insidious", any women looking to leverage the idea of polyamory to best work for her will initiate the topic, already have her target[s] planned as outlined in point 1, sleep with them asap as outlined in point 2, and then pull a sob story after if/when the man makes any headway with his own possible partners. A sob story that will be half "I don't want to lose you/[my safety pick]" and half "It's not what I wanted/thought it would be", and of those two halves the former will be true while the latter will not. She doesn't want to lose the safety pick, but she definitely got exactly what she wanted from her slut speedrun before the boyfriend had a chance to also hook up with someone else.