That’s the hard part when dealing with female criticism. All of it in part about all things is meant to benefit the speaker. Sometimes it could be making them look better and be seen in a more flattering light, like saying “I’d totally date a fat guy, I only care about personality.” Almost nobody prefers an actual fat person to someone that’s less fat if all else is equal. Other times it’s meant to coerce the listener, like “no, I don’t want you to work out, you should fatten up” so they can trap you and feel less insecure about you having options.

Men tend to speak in terms of facts, women in terms of feelings, and most of their feelings all concern themselves. They’re like drunken masters manipulating men even when they’re not trying. And that’s fine if we’re all honest about it. Taking it seriously and pretending it’s not true is where the problems happen.