The Women Who are involuntary Celibates
(www.theguardian.com)
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Caitlin is single at 39 because she is full of shit.
Caitlin is a retard that doesn't realize that women literally have all the power when it comes to sexual dynamics. This isn't some "conspiracy theory;" it's a demonstrable fact. That's precisely why they so often use withholding sex as a type of "punishment" — this isn't lost on them and the overwhelming majority of women know this.
The reason men have "more ways to attract a partner other than looks" is literally out of necessity. The overwhelming majority of women are shallow and base their preferences on social status, materialism, and looks. If a man doesn't meet those criteria, it's a prerequisite to work on himself to stand out in some other meaningful way in order to attract a partner. Women are the ones who choose who they end up with; not men. A women who's average in every possible way will still have more suitors — by orders of magnitude — over a man who matches the same description, because men are much more willing to compromise their standards because they don't have a waiting list of partners at all times. Even relatively attractive dudes will be shot down by many women if they're not successful of able to provide social status.
I'm a relatively attractive guy and I can say from first-hand experience that I've definitely dated down — women who would be considered "less attractive." It wasn't because I was handing out charity or anything shallow and stupid like that, it's because the girls I dated really stood out as exceptional in other ways and I really enjoyed being around them and spending time together. This is the part that's lost on those like her. She has this weird vision of men based on stereotypes and consumer manufactured beliefs, and instead of considering that maybe she's the problem, she automatically assumes it must be everyone else.
She should take into serious consideration that it's not the men that are finding these women; it's the women who are finding these men, since they hold the majority of the power when it comes to forming relationships.
100% nailed it.
Also this...
This is a very common problem across the board for everyone, including both genders.
But you're right that women hold all the power and men are the ones trying to play fetch for the women. There are so many guys who complain about constantly messaging women on dating sites and the women just ignoring them, and then you have women constantly talking about how many times men message them and how they don't like the guys who message them.
If you really look at the social dynamics, though, some of the women were explaining that a lot of guys just don't exude much personality. They fall into the category of saying: "I'm a fairly attractive dude, I have a steady or high-paying job, and I want a pretty wife to do things with."
Lots of generic stuff like that, which means that most women are going to ignore guys who may have some wealth and decent looks but nothing else going for them, especially if she has other suitors who have the same qualities but with something a little extra.
I've always said that between K-5 there needs to be classes built on expressive communication, helping kids learn to express themselves individually, respectfully, and honestly. It's funny that these sort of courses are restricted to college programs specifically about communication (and usually it's about manipulative communication for marketing/sales purposes rather than self-improvement).
So if you have a bunch of socially stunted people, only the ones who standout will garner attention. For women without looks and no personality, she's going to be in the exact same dating caste as many men who have generic profiles or who don't stand out among the herd.
These women are now finding out how hard it is to date when the cards are stacked against them, just like how it's been for ages with men. The only thing now is that larger and larger portions of women are becoming obese in the West, so instead of holding sexual power (the greatest power women hold over men) they don't even have that, and they're now finding that without the power of sex appeal, they have nothing, and so instead of improving they will rot away as femcels.
Exactly. She's literally projecting her shallowness onto potential mates. She's the one who is not going to have a relationship if she doesn't find the men in her life immediately attractive.
I mean, I'm not going to be a hypocrite and pretend that looks don't play a role in what I look for in a partner as well, but it's not at all what women make it out to seem; that it's the only thing men look for. In fact, as previously mentioned, that couldn't be farther from the truth.
But in her case, she's basing her entire view solely on her insecurities. It never actually clicks for her that her self-esteem issues and personality are probably the biggest factor that pushes men away.
Men value looks yes. But we're willing to compromise. More or equally important is kindness, a sense of humor, positivity, peace, meekness, submissiveness, and having common interests.
The women who can't connect or make a relationship work have none of those qualities.
They themselves are looking for men who are strong, powerful, successful, well off, career focused, confident, arrogant, flashy, charming, dominant, leaders, etc.
And they mold themselves into that, thinking that's what men want as well.
Then there they sit with their money, arrogance, condecention, success, dominant personalities, high society habits, and tinder pics next to expensive cars and wonder where all the good men are.
Men aren't turned on by that at all, they are repulsed by it.
The equivalent are boys who think that women like nice, soft, passive, submissive guys, because girls themselves are nice and soft. They end up equally bitter, wondering where all the goof girls are, afterall they should be throwing themselves after someone this kind and obedient and subservient.
The world doesn't work that way.
Sounds like my coworker. She's not that attractive, but moreso because she takes so little care of herself and presents an image that drives people away. Her profile picture is straight hair died red (red in nature always means danger), horned rimmed glasses, no makeup with pale skin because it looks like she never goes outdoors, in a t-shirt. Oh and she has 5 cats.....in a single bedroom apartment. Can you imagine the smell? Oh and no social skills: she often takes comments not directed toward her as insinuating she doesn't know a topic and then over-compensates.
I'm not particularly hung up on makeup or looks, but there are looks that say, "I care about myself" and looks that say, "I have zero self-esteem". Low self-esteem people are dysfunctional in many ways. They're essentially project boats. You're going to dump a lot of time and money into them with little return on your investment.