High school teacher. TLDR a coworker recently lost her husband. He was in his early 50s and had an "extremely aggressive cancer". Months within diagnosis, he was dead.
Caught her completely off guard, etc etc etc, nothing to do, "ultra-fast spreading cancer," "he was in perfect health before," etc etc etc.
So anyway, funeral has just concluded last week-end, and she's telling her sob stories in the teacher lounge.
I turn around and ask:
"Did he get vaccinated against Covid?"
She replies right away: "Yes, he had all his doses, plus the boosters..."
Then... I smirk. Not smile, just a tiny, tiny smile on the bottom of my right lip. In my mind, I thought "mystery solved."
So anyway, she... I don't know, she completely flips out, starts screaming, "why are you asking me this, what is your problem" typical pre-menopause hysteria, etc.
Well apparently she filed a complaint with HR against me, and now I have to meet HR to discuss "something." Union rep will be with me LOL okay.
Did I really go too far? I mean, I just asked ONE question...
Yeah I have 2 faces, my professional face and my actual personality that can be snarky.
Around strangers and 'enemy territory' I only show my professional side so appear neutral, polite and civil.
Those that get to know me in the workplace or friends to the point I KNOW them too, get to know my REAL opinions and snark.
You unfortunately with that question and smirk let your true opinions known in enemy territory. Your best bet would be to refer to any study regarding the vaccines and say you asked because you heard they could be a factor with a certain vaccine and concerned she could be the same. Use 'empathy' against them so they just think you're 'misguided' than an 'alt right MAGA bro'.
Agreed, but why is she allowed to do this?
By constantly backing down, we let women like this create unhealthy parasocial relationships with captive coworkers; not good for her, not good for him.