I just set up an instance and am having my Discord group test it. If you're self hosting the rules are all yours (their only attempt at setting terms there is don't misrepresent your server as theirs, don't misuse branding, just basic legalese like that) - you can be the based privilege-triggering shitlord you always wanted to be and nobody can tell you no.
Stoat/revolt seems like it could work but I don’t know if they do this gender nonsense. But you can self host it at least.
I just set up an instance and am having my Discord group test it. If you're self hosting the rules are all yours (their only attempt at setting terms there is don't misrepresent your server as theirs, don't misuse branding, just basic legalese like that) - you can be the based privilege-triggering shitlord you always wanted to be and nobody can tell you no.