Based. Apparently the potato in a wig was arrested
Somewhat related: neighborhood Karens make up stories about Fuentes. The "your body my choice" line was a real heater.
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Because that's more for cutting, a rapier should get the point across
Just remember to use the Italian fighting style:
You kick them as hard as possible in the balls/vag and mercilessly stab them as they are in the fetal position.