when it was really just that men aren't interested in participating in a society that actively hates them simply for existing

The original "incel" boards were never this kind of MGTOW pseudo-positive thinking. They were cesspits of misery and depression endlessly repeating from completely broken shutins and losers that would drop everything from a crumb of affection let alone pussy.

That's what made the stereotype of them so ridiculous. Simply looking at any of them and you would find a specimen so pathetic that you couldn't be afraid of him. Think Randy Stair, who even after a shooting is still considered a sad joke. The only "threat" they posed was that they were so crushed down by lack of womanly attention that they couldn't be manipulated by it anymore due to sheer despair.

Because that's where the hate truly came from. Women saw groups of men that were below even the beta bux, who could truly provide nothing to them. And the hate they felt for those guys was so unwarranted that they had to invent a monster caricature instead to justify it to the masses.