As bad as this is, the rest of the writing is even worse.

I heard someone call it "HR is in the room" and they were spot on.

It feels more like carefully crafted work banter in corporate culture than it does talking to a human being about human activities.

It's all just so stilted and forced that it comes across as sad and pathetic. These people obviously have no friends outside of work, so they pull from what interactions they do have, at work carefully contrived banter that won't offend anyone.

And it shows.