Whoever wrote his jokes is one of our guys, and that's good news for who's in his circle.
If you really wanted Vice President Harris to accept your invitation, you should have told her that the funds were going to bail out the looters and rioters of Minneapolis. She would have been here guaranteed.
Instead of attending tonight, she [Kamalla] is in Michigan receiving communion from Gretchen Whitmer
The only way you could see him [Biden] less is if he had a show on CNN
The fact is: we need good leadership in this country. Right now we have someone in the white house who can barely talk, barely put together two coherent sentences, who seems to have mental faculties of a child, a person who has nothing going, no intelligence whatsoever, but enough about Kamala Harris.
Considering how woke your [Chuck Schumer] party has become, if Kamala looses, you'll still have a chance to become the first woman president
There's a group called White Dudes For Harris, have you seen this? White Dudes For Harris? Anybody know them? White Dudes for -- doesn't sound like it. I'm not worried about them at all because their wives and their wives lovers are all voting for me.
A major issue of this race is childcare, and Kamala has put forward a concept of a plan; a lot of people don't like it; the only piece of advice I would have for her in the event that she wins would be: not to let her husband Doug anywhere near the nannies
Tradition tells that I'm supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes, so here it goes: Nope, I got nothing. I guess I don't see the point in taking shots at myself when other people have been shooting at me for a hell of a long time.
Governor Waltz wasn't here, but don't worry, he'll say that he was. I used to think the Democrats were crazy for saying that women have periods, but then I met Tim Waltz.
As I look around [ineligible] I see all the usual suspects, for instance Mayor Eric Adams. I'd like to poke some fun at Eric, but I'm going to be nice. I just want to be nice because I know what it's like to be persecuted by the DOJ for speaking out against Open Borders.
We have the former mayor of New York City with us, frankly, easily the worst. And it's not Michael, I can tell you. I was surprised that Bill DeBlasio was able to make it tonight, to be honest with you. He was a terrible mayor, I don't give a shit whether it's comedy or not. He was a terrible mayor. He did a -- he did a horrible job. That's not comedy by the way, that's fact. Unlike the rest of New York, at least Bill doesn't have to worry the criminals. They owe him big. He let them get away with a lot of stuff.
Well, I better wrap up because Mayor Adams told me earlier that I needed to make this one pretty quick, especially because the city has reserved this room for a large group of illegal aliens coming in from Texas.
Nearly the last 10 minutes is Trump straight up not telling jokes, because he said he didn't want to because how bad things had gotten in America in the world. He specifically said cited that he wanted to rebuild New York City and bring it back to what it was, to stop the killing in Ukraine because of how many people came up to him before the presentation, that God had protected him from assassination, and that Trump worked to save the Catholic private school system by getting them a billion dollars.
The idea is that Schumer is ambitious as fuck and wants to be president. However, his own party probably won't let him because he's to "pale, male, and stale"; so if he really wanted to be president, he could trans himself and run as a woman.
The last presidential candidate to miss the Smith Memorial Dinner was Walter Mondale. If you don't know who Walter Mondale is, he was Jimmy Carter's VP and the 1984 democratic presidential candidate. He lost 49 of 50 states to Ronald Reagan, winning only his home state of Minnesota by <3500 votes.
Fuckin half-way through the night and Reagan is up by twenty million votes. Listening to the some of the announcers, the delusion of the Democrats is real. "Mondale was expecting to flip Reagan's home state." "Democrats were hoping to hold onto Massachusetts." Fuggin oof.
Wanna see one of the saddest things?
Mr. Mondale, many analysts are now saying that, actually, our number one foreign policy problem today is one that remains wholly unrecognized. Massive illegal immigration from economically collapsing countries. They are saying that it is the only real territorial threat to the American Nation-State. You yourself said in the 1970's that we had a, quote, "hemorrhage on our borders", unquote. Yet today you have backed off any immigration reform such as the Simpson-Mizzoli Bill. Why?
I can't even imagine the media even trying to ask this question, let alone trying to frame the concept of "American Nation-State" as anything but Nazi ideology. Our nation has had an open border since before 1984, now we're just trying to pull in every available warm body (child rapist or not), in order to keep the pension ponzi scheme.
Just watched it, he's much less biting than Trump, tbh.
I'd say there is a major point regarding Kamala not appealing to Catholics. Trump actually lost Catholics in 2020, and is leading them now. It really is a critical demographic in most if not all of the swing states.
And isn't that just a grand mockery of the founding of our nation - that left the entire continent to escape england's shit church, which was itself a rebellion against one of the OG globalist cabals.
It's not surprising that catholics trend left and reject american values to anyone that understands the catholic church.
I'd fucking believe it. Jack PosONI definitely has his ears to the ground in several places. You'll never get confirmation, but it's good to know it's there.
Whoever wrote his jokes is one of our guys, and that's good news for who's in his circle.
Nearly the last 10 minutes is Trump straight up not telling jokes, because he said he didn't want to because how bad things had gotten in America in the world. He specifically said cited that he wanted to rebuild New York City and bring it back to what it was, to stop the killing in Ukraine because of how many people came up to him before the presentation, that God had protected him from assassination, and that Trump worked to save the Catholic private school system by getting them a billion dollars.
Ahahaha, he did the thing!
I mean, he literally call them cuckolds at a Catholic fundraiser.
Number 6 is straight up structured like a decent stand up joke. Heheh
I'd expect to read it here.
"""Catholic""" Charity Foundation
Yes.
The joke I saw go the most viral was Trump’s "you could still be the 1st woman President" to Schumer.
I don't get it and didn't find it funny (besides Trump insulting Chuck to his face while he was sitting directly to his left).
Is the whole joke simply a jab at Schumer's support for LGBT bs?
The idea is that Schumer is ambitious as fuck and wants to be president. However, his own party probably won't let him because he's to "pale, male, and stale"; so if he really wanted to be president, he could trans himself and run as a woman.
Based as fuck holy shit.
Libs complaining about him sounded like old women
"He wasn't funny and he came off as mean"
He came off as mean, but they fucking have it coming. And frankly, he didn't even want to tell jokes.
The entire point of a roast is coming off mean.
The last presidential candidate to miss the Smith Memorial Dinner was Walter Mondale. If you don't know who Walter Mondale is, he was Jimmy Carter's VP and the 1984 democratic presidential candidate. He lost 49 of 50 states to Ronald Reagan, winning only his home state of Minnesota by <3500 votes.
You ever seen the media say, "The polls in 3 states just closed. As such, we are immediately projecting the following 3 states"?
Yeah, me neither.
Fuckin half-way through the night and Reagan is up by twenty million votes. Listening to the some of the announcers, the delusion of the Democrats is real. "Mondale was expecting to flip Reagan's home state." "Democrats were hoping to hold onto Massachusetts." Fuggin oof.
Wanna see one of the saddest things?
I can't even imagine the media even trying to ask this question, let alone trying to frame the concept of "American Nation-State" as anything but Nazi ideology. Our nation has had an open border since before 1984, now we're just trying to pull in every available warm body (child rapist or not), in order to keep the pension ponzi scheme.
I'm most surprised that TDS Jim Gaffigan roasted Kamala. He sounds bitter about Biden. He's probably right when he says Biden is voting for Trump.
Just watched it, he's much less biting than Trump, tbh.
I'd say there is a major point regarding Kamala not appealing to Catholics. Trump actually lost Catholics in 2020, and is leading them now. It really is a critical demographic in most if not all of the swing states.
And isn't that just a grand mockery of the founding of our nation - that left the entire continent to escape england's shit church, which was itself a rebellion against one of the OG globalist cabals.
It's not surprising that catholics trend left and reject american values to anyone that understands the catholic church.
Our founding fathers were right about Catholicism.
That's where Social Justice originates.
Comment Reported for: Rule 16 - Identity Attacks
Comment Approved: This is criticism of Catholicism as a religion.
Unconfirmed, but believable
I'd fucking believe it. Jack PosONI definitely has his ears to the ground in several places. You'll never get confirmation, but it's good to know it's there.