Warning: Heavy Austard Sarcasm.

This may be grandstanding, but Ted Cruz introduced a bill that would block any Central Bank Digital Currency: https://archive.ph/LpLvO

MarketWatch's been doing shrooms: FDIC coverage for higher account balances and their response to banks going under is being blamed for Banks and Wallstreet going full hookers and coke with other people's money. Sure, Jan. https://archive.ph/eZsP4

Swiss Financial Regulators also know how to virtue signal, by claiming they're going to block bonuses at Credit Suisse. Except, they're not really. https://archive.ph/LGW1E

The economy tanking means U.S. bonds interest rates are down. A retard has a retarded take on that. https://archive.ph/72DgC The U.S. still sold bonds/borrowed money to pay for shit they didn't need. It will pay that back with interest. Eventually.

Jerome Powell lit up, took a shot, blasted some tunes, and raised interest rates again. This caused some people to lose their fucking minds.

Pocahontas shit herself in rage, claiming he was threatening the economy and her precious banks. Demanded his head. It's totally not her still being pissed she missed out on this position due to her being a political hack. She got her appointed Senate seat, after all. Right? https://archive.ph/iyEJ8

Then she and Voldemort teamed up to call for a new inquisition! Don't worry, this is bipartisan. They only want to investigate the Fed for gross mismanagement and bring about new oversight. This is not a naked power grab by the uniparty to hide their destruction of the banking system. https://archive.ph/mTx3D

The SEC says Cryptocurrency Tron was a scam. Please hold your gasps til the end. The founder was charged and so were 8 celebrities for illegal promoting it, including Lindsay Lohan, Jake Paul, and Austin Mahone. https://archive.ph/kXnbL

But, wait, there's more: The SEC may soon lay charges at the feet of Coin Base. They were kind enough to let them know before hand, so this might just be bribe-seeking...I mean, settlement seeking. https://archive.ph/bNfL5

2200 resumes were just posted to Indeed.com as the jobs website fired them all. https://archive.ph/go6GQ

Ireland's wokeforce staffing agency WorkHuman decided to fire 10% of their 1300 employees. https://archive.ph/Nk4a3

Just for amusement: Quirky hipster roach survived being gassed by Netflix fumigating their animation abominations division, finds new host in Amazon Prime woke dumpster. https://archive.ph/dnPZi

Feelgood Moment: Starbucks' new CEO was greeted by soyboys and greenhaired hippos with nose rings making complete jackasses of themselves at 100 locations in what they claim was a strike. How it was different from any other day in a starbucks, no one nose. https://archive.ph/OCuyA