On this note… I “gave up trying” for like, nearly 18 months…
Probably one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made, in hindsight. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, not “trying”, and not “putting myself out there”, was actually really detrimental to my psyche and my life…
It’s better to try and fail than to not try at all. From extensive experience.
Obviously desperation is bad, but I think being isolated, single and alone is actually much worse…
Although feigning disinterest/aloofness just does not work, either…
As TheImp points out, feigning doesn't work because they can still tell you are just faking it. I meant actually being disinterested, rather than trying to fake it.
And easy of achieving this level of "disinterest" is embracing aspects of MGTOW i.e. being realistic about relationships and realising in most cases a relationship is going to make many aspects of your life worse rather than better, so it's not really that important. If someone comes along that brings enough positives to outweigh the negatives, than fair enough, give it a go, but otherwise "romantic" relationships are generally not worth it.
I mainly tried it because it gives an excuse to shut them down without having to waste time letting them down easy. I was hoping that word would spread that I was unavailable. It didn't work. Weirdly, nobody ever called me out when I stopped wearing it and stopped claiming to be married.
Having no social media under my real name means nobody can check my real life, so I guess I could get away with obvious lies more easily?
I agree, within reason. Although feigning disinterest/aloofness just does not work, either…
At least in my experience.
There must be a “happy medium”, but I am entirely yet to find it, myself, unfortunately…
On this note… I “gave up trying” for like, nearly 18 months…
Probably one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made, in hindsight. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, not “trying”, and not “putting myself out there”, was actually really detrimental to my psyche and my life…
It’s better to try and fail than to not try at all. From extensive experience.
Obviously desperation is bad, but I think being isolated, single and alone is actually much worse…
Is it? I'm pretty sure you can make a pretty good life for yourself being single. Now ask yourself: would this one make my life better, or worse?
'Not being single' should not be a goal. There's plenty worse than that. Realizing that should cure you of any desperation.
As TheImp points out, feigning doesn't work because they can still tell you are just faking it. I meant actually being disinterested, rather than trying to fake it.
And easy of achieving this level of "disinterest" is embracing aspects of MGTOW i.e. being realistic about relationships and realising in most cases a relationship is going to make many aspects of your life worse rather than better, so it's not really that important. If someone comes along that brings enough positives to outweigh the negatives, than fair enough, give it a go, but otherwise "romantic" relationships are generally not worth it.
They can tell you're faking it.
I have complete disinterest and they approach me.
It's not fun. I tried wearing a fake wedding ring, that didn't get rid of them either.
Surely you know that this is meant to make things worse?
I mainly tried it because it gives an excuse to shut them down without having to waste time letting them down easy. I was hoping that word would spread that I was unavailable. It didn't work. Weirdly, nobody ever called me out when I stopped wearing it and stopped claiming to be married.
Having no social media under my real name means nobody can check my real life, so I guess I could get away with obvious lies more easily?
I'd be a little bit more careful if I were you. Fama avolat.
I think you may not be 'the average guy'.