"Finally tonight, a judge has ruled against Pfizer in the long running battle to find who was at fault for the mysterious auto-immunity diseases that wiped out nearly a quarter of the Earth's population in the last century. While the judge said there was obviously no firm connection between the vaccine and the deaths - after all, it could have been worse had they not been vaccinated - she held that Pfizer was liable for holding back important safety information from those who chose to be a part of their global research project. At the same time, she praised the company for its bold steps in pushing the early genetic modification technology which led to the transhumanist age we all take for granted today. In addition to legal fees, Pfizer will be required to provide descendants of victims one free biogenetic modification of their choice, and a $25 gift card to Applebee's. Attorneys for the pharmaceutical giant say they hope this finally brings closure to the families, as the company promises to earn their trust once more. On that note everyone, please remember to update your vaxchips before leaving your pod tonight. Safety is the most important thing. Good night, and all glory to the Rainbow."
"No refunds, Jack."
Various pharma CEOs: "Delay/Filibuster until they die"
75 years from now:
where's that quoted from?
The Future
If I didn't pull it out of my ass, we're in trouble. :)