The economist is like, "hey, no problem -- I see some potential in you, but since you're basically worthless I'd be willing to hire you at $0.01/hr and I'll feed you lunch."

You're like, "damn, what a deal! I'm an idiot with no skills but this guy is willing to pay me and feed me and teach me to not be a worthless fuck at the same time!"

Unpaid interships are available and don't count as a job under minimum wage laws. Still, you'd be dumb to accept such an offer, even while not being too good at the job, you're still bringing value to his company. Learning on the job is how most people learned through history. The production value you bring in is worth something, stop selling yourself short.

The Internet laughs at your self-inflicted misfortune.

The Internet laughs at your concept of unpaid interships since they exist. Of course, you'd know if you weren't an idiot, but that's beyond your skill and OPs.