Damn, that's deep
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Endeavor to never show actual vulnerability to a woman. It's surface level tripe and she will lose respect for you.
Women tend to say one thing and mean another, think they want one thing but it's something else entirely.
"He doesn't cry" is womanese for "The drama part of my brain itches and I have a short list of things to complain about" or "I need something to chew at while conversing with my friend here", which isn't an invitation to talk about your feelings. "Do men even have feelings" is an acknowledgement of a masculine difference in a coat of feminine self-aggrandizement.
As for the man, you shouldn't lament having to not be a loser. Hardwork isn't just part of being a man, conceptually it is a PART of the man himself. Only within strength of character can love and affection be matured. "Success" is all you, plenty of people are "successful" doing diddly squat, what's more important is being a provider aswell as having self-assuredness.
There is also no such thing as "deserve" as a man beyond its transactional meaning. You don't have a nesting role and it'll just hold you back. A man is free from "deserve", as he instead builds his future - the world is pregnatable and he is a potent force therein.
You've never spoken to a woman and it's very fucking obvious, lmao. Try actually speaking to some.
Do elaborate, this isn't reddit.
It's obvious your operating off of extremely negative stereotypes about women.
I'm not surprised, lots of predominantly online young men are exposed to pretty shit women, but that doesn't mean that women will never support you when you are vulnerable. In fact, that's a major responsibility of women in a relationship in order to ensure that their men stay strong.
I said that you should strive to not be, which is an impossible task if you intend to live with someone, you're going to break atleast once.
I'll let you in on a personal detail, I've had my heart eviscerated thinking I could just trust a woman's words at face value, thinking I could just open up about my feelings, my ails, my past - then that relationship became eroded by uncertainty; respect was replaced by pity, pity was replaced by resentment. It didn't happen overnight, I wasn't even lost in self-pity, but I made a serious mistake in breaking infront of her.
I lost everything because I opened up and broke down. So no, it's not "obvious". You don't have a single fucking clue as to what it took to rebuild myself or the realizations that followed. Every interaction I ever had behind closed doors, what women say, what they do, it began to make sense that within each is "janus" - operating on two entirely different planes of thought, it's never directly conjured or consulted at surface level, but what they say, what they mean, and what they do don't tend to align. They speak an entirely different language and this isn't a singular experience - most are like this to some greater or lesser degree. This was manifest in every relationship platonic and romantic. In a snap, life around women became easy.
Therefore I keep it in mind to keep my mouth fucking SHUT about my feelings unless it is important. I don't ever want to be pitied again, nor go through another two year death spiral because I thought I could have a vulnerable moment.
I don't think it is necessarily a negative realization.
Some of the most caring and non-judgmental friends I've had have been women, and every single female partner I've ever known has been BEYOND supportive whenever I have showed emotion, and have encouraged me to continue over and over again, and have shown me nothing but kindness, and frankly I'm kind of a nobody, not a particularly good looking guy (though those women disagree, but I think most people would not consider me good looking), and literally in poverty. Every single one liked me for who I am. I'm dominant (sexually and socially) and always take the lead in most group situations, and I think that might be a big part of the appeal. Whenever I split from a partner, it was on good terms and due to some sort of situation neither of us can control.
If you feel like every single woman you've been in contact with has been bad to you, then either you are the problem with how you interact with them, or you've had EXCEEDINGLY bad luck, which is a legitimate possibility. I found all of these girls in online video games (mostly MMOs) or online chat rooms, and from what I've seen, there is no better way to meet quality women these days, if you like games and such. They have all been great - fun to talk to, intelligent, extremely submissive and kinky, loyal. ALL you have to do is not to be a thirsty fucking beta orbiter. That's it. Show interest in a reserved and dignified way and you're already above literally 95% of other men.
Thing about me is that I am schizophrenic, I didn't know for a very long time. I struggled for a long time, I was a violent unmedicated hermit for about a decade and came from a very abused, violent, and malnourished upbringing. I don't think I am very relatable as a result of my circumstances, whenever I talk about certain things I lose people. I've done things that people run away from me when they hear about it. I can water crops with my tears. I've had to build myself up from the dirt just to get kicked over again, then gutted by the world. Seems when I get it together I lose it all over again.
I don't know what I put off to attract certain types of women, I tend to get dates on merit of being very well-respected in my field. They start off the way you describe and all is pretty well, the fall off is where I probably share too much or it's something else like - she's actually already married, or she wasn't actually looking for anything serious and it moved too fast, was stringing along two other guys and I found out, etc.
If we're talking women I've been around, male "feelings" are a curiousity, but I don't think they know what that entails, or just how bleak this world is towards men - you are dispensible, you are the corporate bitch, you will NOT be appreciated or remembered and to actually FEEL it comes off as uncertainty, no woman wants uncertainty or to be around indecisiveness, but that's what you get with tears. They're looking for something else usually. On some superficial level the more liberal girls allege wanting to see their boyfriend cry because they think males are repressed, but they don't actually want it.
I genuinely think there is a pipeline between pity and just losing people, regardless of my own specific circumstances and a man should be as decisive as possible with vulnerability at the furthest seat in the back of the bus, aiming towards being a lot more reserved, as some things are respected more at a distance and I believe male emotions are like this. Especially if you're like me and one peep turns you into an uncertain prospect, gotta hold onto certain cards, especially if we're speaking two different languages.