Damn, that's deep
(media.communities.win)
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It's obvious your operating off of extremely negative stereotypes about women.
I'm not surprised, lots of predominantly online young men are exposed to pretty shit women, but that doesn't mean that women will never support you when you are vulnerable. In fact, that's a major responsibility of women in a relationship in order to ensure that their men stay strong.
I said that you should strive to not be, which is an impossible task if you intend to live with someone, you're going to break atleast once.
I'll let you in on a personal detail, I've had my heart eviscerated thinking I could just trust a woman's words at face value, thinking I could just open up about my feelings, my ails, my past - then that relationship became eroded by uncertainty; respect was replaced by pity, pity was replaced by resentment. It didn't happen overnight, I wasn't even lost in self-pity, but I made a serious mistake in breaking infront of her.
I lost everything because I opened up and broke down. So no, it's not "obvious". You don't have a single fucking clue as to what it took to rebuild myself or the realizations that followed. Every interaction I ever had behind closed doors, what women say, what they do, it began to make sense that within each is "janus" - operating on two entirely different planes of thought, it's never directly conjured or consulted at surface level, but what they say, what they mean, and what they do don't tend to align. They speak an entirely different language and this isn't a singular experience - most are like this to some greater or lesser degree. This was manifest in every relationship platonic and romantic. In a snap, life around women became easy.
Therefore I keep it in mind to keep my mouth fucking SHUT about my feelings unless it is important. I don't ever want to be pitied again, nor go through another two year death spiral because I thought I could have a vulnerable moment.
I don't think it is necessarily a negative realization.
I'm sorry that you got exploited in that way, but I think your realization, which is really more of a coping-mechanism, is almost entirely negative.
What will be the inevitable result of your behavior is the exact same problem.
As you refuse to be vulnerable in a relationship, you will have a significant lack of intimacy and trust, which is what relationships are built on. Your relationship ended before you even started it, because you are not prepared to be vulnerable, with the exact person you are supposed to be vulnerable with.
A woman's purpose with a man is to be his animus, his animator. The thing that is his goal, and the thing that helps him recover from his trials. By refusing vulnerability, all you have ensured is your own resentment and hatred of your spouse for not supporting you as you work for her benefit.
In return, since you never develop the necessary intimacy and trust, your relationship never gets past the point of her needing to know where your line of regular support actually is. Since she's used to not supporting you, the inevitable moment you show vulnerability will be a surprise for her that she isn't prepared to support you in. You will have effectively emotionally lied to her, or behaved wildly out of character. In either case, the trust in your relationship is eroded because you aren't who she thought you were. This feeling of being lied to and cheated forms the resentment on her part, as you resent her for not supporting you enough (even though you denied her the opportunity to do so).
So yeah, you've set yourself up for the exact death spiral you're trying to avoid the moment you try to form another relationship.
The incredible value in a good relationship is based on the fact that both of you can be completely vulnerable to each other when needed. She can be vulnerable and submissive to a dominant, caring, and stoic masculine presence; while you can be vulnerable and open to a welcoming, healing, and fulfilling feminine presence. Now, that vulnerability must be done at a place in your relationship where you trust each other with that vulnerability, but by denying that vulnerability outright, you are crippling your next relationship before it starts, if you don't poison it from starting anyways.
Prior I was never the way I resigned myself to be currently and my life is much easier for it. So far so good.
It doesn't mean not showing reciprocation of these very jungian ideations of anima and animus in other ways - I simply don't do it in a way that threatens stability or the bigger picture.
There are some burdens a man should absolutely bare alone, sure a good woman wants to be your partner in crime but I don't think women are nearly as interested in male feelings as they say they are.
Once that's on the table, if that interest is misplaced, you're a "high-maintenance" male.