I'm sorry that you got exploited in that way, but I think your realization, which is really more of a coping-mechanism, is almost entirely negative.

What will be the inevitable result of your behavior is the exact same problem.

As you refuse to be vulnerable in a relationship, you will have a significant lack of intimacy and trust, which is what relationships are built on. Your relationship ended before you even started it, because you are not prepared to be vulnerable, with the exact person you are supposed to be vulnerable with.

A woman's purpose with a man is to be his animus, his animator. The thing that is his goal, and the thing that helps him recover from his trials. By refusing vulnerability, all you have ensured is your own resentment and hatred of your spouse for not supporting you as you work for her benefit.

In return, since you never develop the necessary intimacy and trust, your relationship never gets past the point of her needing to know where your line of regular support actually is. Since she's used to not supporting you, the inevitable moment you show vulnerability will be a surprise for her that she isn't prepared to support you in. You will have effectively emotionally lied to her, or behaved wildly out of character. In either case, the trust in your relationship is eroded because you aren't who she thought you were. This feeling of being lied to and cheated forms the resentment on her part, as you resent her for not supporting you enough (even though you denied her the opportunity to do so).

So yeah, you've set yourself up for the exact death spiral you're trying to avoid the moment you try to form another relationship.

The incredible value in a good relationship is based on the fact that both of you can be completely vulnerable to each other when needed. She can be vulnerable and submissive to a dominant, caring, and stoic masculine presence; while you can be vulnerable and open to a welcoming, healing, and fulfilling feminine presence. Now, that vulnerability must be done at a place in your relationship where you trust each other with that vulnerability, but by denying that vulnerability outright, you are crippling your next relationship before it starts, if you don't poison it from starting anyways.