it is possible to hook up with someone and establish a relationship which can stand the test of time.

Of course it is. It very much is still possible, but it's certainly gotten much harder/worse. That shouldn't be ignored.

Just be a decent man, have faith in yourself and put in the effort.

Hate is not a place to start from.

All good advice but, again, you also need to take reality into account. Everything has gotten shittier, and there are some big things that need resolving.

I have a wife, and have spent over two decades with her...

So it was a whole different era when you met her. Also, genuine congrats, though, that's great.