Yes Jon, let's do reparations. But first let's have a talk about who pays who.

See, no one in my family ever owned slaves. Hell, we didn't even come here til the early 1900s, long after slavery was abolished. The idea that I never benefited from slavery, my family never owned slaves, yet we should have to pay reparations to someone who in all likelihood isn't even a descendant of American slavery... well, that's just racist.

So let's see who DID profit off of slavery... let's hold them accountable... All slave owners and their descendants should pay reparations. All businesses and political parties that advocated for or benefited from slavery should pay reparations.

• Let's start first with the Democratic party. They lost the civil war, founded the KKK, passed Jim Crow from the mid 1800s through mid 1950s, elected a president in the 1960s who famously said "I'll have those n*****s voting for us for the next 200 years", and didn't elect a single black US senator until 1993. The idea there was a "party switch" is a ridiculous conspiracy theory. The DNC needs to pay reparations now.
• The family who owns NYT owned slaves. NYT's founder even got his big break in media writing about how after the north freed the slaves, former slave owners should be legally allowed to literally hunt blacks like wild animals. The paper is even named after the Duke of York, the most prolific slave trader in the history of the Americas. The NYT needs to pay reparations now.
• Harvard's founder owned slaves. Hell, all the Ivy league founders owned slaves. All of those universities should pay reparations. The families of those founders should pay reparations. The Ivy league universities and their founders' families need to pay reparations now.
• Kamala Harris's family were slave owners. Even her father disavowed her when she was on the campaign trail for this. Her family isn't African American. They're Indian and Jamaican. Harris needs to pay reparations now.
• Very few families actually owned slaves, but especially in the south, over 80% of slaves were owned by Jews. Jewish families need to be investigated, and those involved in slavery need to pay reparations now. Even Jon Stewart supports reparations, so this can't be anti-semitic.

I don't discriminate... every single person and entity needs to be made to account for their ancestral crimes. So yes, let's take a deep dive into all the families and institutions that benefited from slavery, and hold them responsible.