Comments (25)
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ernsithe 33 points ago +33 / -0

Those predictions had to be years ago.

It's 2021. It will just be Peach's movie. She'll defeat Bowser while lecturing him on respecting her as a strong woman.

WhoIsThatMaskedMan 9 points ago +9 / -0

I don't think it'll go quite that far. Mario will have to rescue Peach. They know this. If he doesn't they'll have lost all credibility forever.

However, it'll happen within the first 20 minutes, and the rest of the movie will be a lesson on gender roles and will involve Peach saving everyone - Bowser included - from something even more evil and powerful than Bowser. A Smithy-esque figure, almost certainly.

Honestly it's probably just going to be Super Mario RPG: The Movie, except ruined by feminism.

APDSmith 7 points ago +7 / -0

Mario will have to rescue Peach. They know this. If he doesn't they'll have lost all credibility forever.

Pressing X to doubt here.

Remember, Westworld, a couple of years ago now, had Stunning and Brave Thandie Newton rescue herself because Stunning and Brave.

Also remember that to these people, credibility is what their friends in the media say it is.

throwawayaccount2037 3 points ago +3 / -0

Sadly I have to agree.

I get the feeling Peach will be kidnapped, but will somehow rescue herself, just like Harley in The Suicide Squad.

It's not longer possible for a man to rescue a woman in media. In fact, other than whatever recent Mario game has been released, I can't remember the last time a recent piece of big-budget media entertainment had a man rescue a damsel in distress unironically.

Shill4Hire 2 points ago +2 / -0

There's some Japanese media that does. Video games and movies. Not so much western big budget though.

throwawayaccount2037 1 point ago +1 / -0

You're absolutely right.

I suppose I should have clarified and said "Western media", because thankfully the Japanese, South Koreans, and even the Chinese still respect gender roles with masculine men and feminine women.

EmotionalSupportPup 2 points ago +2 / -0

If Nintendo has a choke hold on the movie as much as it has on its games, no shot. If it doesn't... Yeah probably.

brappablat 22 points ago +22 / -0

It's already getting ripped apart by "people" flying furry trans flags for having casted Chris Pratt as Mario

deleted 32 points ago +32 / -0
MargarineMongoose 15 points ago +15 / -0

I'm just gonna say it:

The old Mario movie was absolutely a good time and there doesn't need to be another.

Baron_Bubbles 11 points ago +11 / -0

It definitely falls under the "so bad it's good" category.

DoctorProfessorRobot 6 points ago +6 / -0

You're talking about the live action one?

I've seen it precisely once in my entire life. It was 4:00 AM, and I'd just been up all night on a pretty good bender with my best friend at the time. We were in that weird state where we had passed through tiredness and gotten that strange, hollow second wind that you sometimes get, where you feel keyed up, but can tell that you're in no way rational. Pile this on us both being still pretty well drunk.

We fell off the fucking couch laughing at that one scene of all the small-headed dino-goombas shuffle-dancing and belch-growl-singing to the crappy waltz music in the elevator. Because it was exactly that kind of night. And it pretty much set the tone for the rest of the watch. I think we threw a couple six-packs worth of beer cans at the TV, cackling at every little thing.

Objectively, I know the movie is terrible.

But the memories I carry of it are so very fond.

BidenLikesMiners 4 points ago +5 / -1

for the stuff they were working with 20 years ago, it has great actors and a fun cast, and i used to get hella downvotes for saying so lmao.

JiggsawCalrissian 2 points ago +2 / -0

I loved it as a kid. I don't want to watch it and see how poorly it's aged. I want to keep my pristine childhood whimsy intact on this one

I ruined "toys" for myself (Old Robin Williams comedy- semi rip of a tim Burton style. Aged horrendously) I'm not doing it with Mario

deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
Daucus9 11 points ago +11 / -0

It's an Illumination movie so it's not going to be anything than a pop culture popcorn flick but I'll enjoy the memes people squeeze out of this.

CanuckElhead 7 points ago +7 / -0

I can almost see the paint-by-numbers flying sequence they'll use to justify the 3D ticket.

BananaDyne 4 points ago +4 / -0

Well, he got all the voices wrong

BidenLikesMiners 4 points ago +5 / -1

azis is such a hatable faggot

VA-Pede 2 points ago +2 / -0

What the fuck....

Lexion 1 point ago +1 / -0

I won't lie. I like the Kristen Schall peach. Something about her voice is great.

JiggsawCalrissian 1 point ago +1 / -0

(((Vomits until dead)))

Kingarthas2 1 point ago +1 / -0

I can't see this shit being good, i don't know what the fuck they were thinking with some of the voice picks.

Shill4Hire 1 point ago +1 / -0

Jack Black Bowser says to me they're aiming for very campy and likely Marvel-styled non-sequitur "humor".