Life is simple, ladies. Shut the fuck up about church/spiritual and governmental matters (which should never have been run by your emotionally-compromised asses to begin with), swallow my cock once in awhile, make me a fuckin' sandwich, and I'll pay for your goddamn room and board.

(Oh, and that dress doesn't make you look fat. Your fat ass does. Go to the gym.)

I know I'm being facetious here, but you get my point.