What a titanic life sucking ingrown-hair on humanities' tender parts. He is:

A soul sucking joy-eater.

A crushing bore.

He who destroys all good that he can reach.

The death of parties.

Spawn of tedium.

Despised scold.

One who shows up unannounced at people's homes and rings their doorbells.

Even with a heavy beard his weak chin makes him appear like a beaver with a mouthful of brush.

He is forced to wear three paper bags over his head to avoid scaring small children --- Those he works with hope he switches to plastic bags but forgets to make air holes.

The code he writes makes the baby Linus Torvalds cry.

Github changes his name to 'King Choad the Limp Noodled."

To fap he hits his worm with a stick to make it mad enough to come out of its hole. It doesn't work.

He tried to use Chaturbate but the camera kept breaking.

The last person to see him naked gouged their eyes out, took a vow of chastity and joined a religious order. That was his mother.