knowing he would need to win back

Again. There's one God. He's trying to communicate something to all of us. It's not as straight forward as you would want it to be.

seems insane

Yea, buddy, that's faith for you. Then again, so would any action be, in a Universe that will ultimately stop existing and all information contained within it will be lost to entropy.

Anyways, God doesn't require your worship, just your desire to be like him, and to ask for forgiveness where you couldn't. Pascal's wager is far less costly than you'd think.