she told me "I'd support anyone else, but not you. Not my partner"

OP, this is a matter of safety. She is a pregnant mother with a toddler whose husband just revealed himself to be a mentally unstable cross-dressing creep. She was very likely and rightfully in fear of the safety of her children and herself if she said anything meaner than the above. There is non-zero chance this freak would harmed her if she called him a "disgusting faggot."