Read a tweet today about why Gen Z men are not "manning up" and cold approaching women. It's obviously the fear of getting your life ruined, not the fear of rejection.
This is established fact for virtually anyone who's ever thought about the subject (besides NPCs).
But my thought is even if you somehow took away the risk of ruining your life, there are a lot of problems with expecting men to find relationships by walking into the buzzsaw of cold approaches over and over. First of all, it kind of hurts to get turned down based on your physical appearance, and the appearance of 80% of men is inadequate on its own. You can make up for that with banter and flirting. But is it realistic to expect every man, or even most men, to develop the level of game needed to pick up girls off the street?
Second, most attractive women you see on the street already have a boyfriend. Not a meme boyfriend, an actual dude. Now it is true that if you're Timothee Chalamet you can probably turn half of those women into cheating hoes, but why would you want to given that you're going for a serious relationship? In the end it's just very awkward for both parties to go through the script again and again. "Sorry, I have a boyfriend." [forced smile] "Oh, my bad sorry"
In the past women were somewhat more likely to take cold approaches as a compliment. Disclaimer: somewhat more likely. Today the infinite choice of online dating has more than filled women's thirst to be admired, so getting approached in public mostly makes them annoyed for the same reason that most people prefer to be emailed rather than called.
There is a way for guys who aren't male models to be attractive to women: get to know them in a mutual community so their appreciation of your positive features overcomes the "ick" and "he's not a kpop boy band member" factors that they initially notice. People can also figure out who's in a relationship and who's looking without embarrassing themselves. This form of courtship, coincidentally, has been attacked by each successive sexual revolution.
I'm generalizing in several places, but I doubt that most relationships are going to happen through cold approach in a healthy society, whether that's in person or on a Jewish dating app.
One thing I've thought about a lot is that average men are much more aware of the treatment that top 10 percenters are getting from women than they were in previous generations. Men are pretty willing to jump through hoops and put up with the kind crap that average men have to in order to date if they simply see it as the price of admission. But if they see Mr. Hawt Guy walk in and have shit handed to him on a silver platter putting up with all that shit becomes a lot harder to justify. I know watching Chads get handed sex and dating just for existing killed any willingness I had to put effort into trying to date. You're just paying for sex at that point, and if you're gonna do that it's cheaper by the hour. There are obviously plenty of other reasons men are checking out and the OP describes one. But I really do think that widespread knowledge of AF/BB is playing a major role in killing men's interest in dating.
Is it a European-American thing? The top 10% best-looking guys aren't that great. With rare exceptions, they're not getting anything handed to them.
People don't understand statistics. 10% means that on average, of 10 guys, there is one 'Hawt Guy'. Yeah, no.
I actually think the percentage is smaller. I've seen anything from top 1-20 percent cited, so I split the difference with 10. Better Bachelor showed stats that said 5, but that was over a year ago and I'm sure it's only gotten worse. The exact number isn't really the point though. The point is that a tiny percentage of men are having a hugely disproportionate amount of success in the SMP, and a lot of the less successful men have concluded that putting in more effort than the hawt guy is a chump move.
Well, if people on the internet say it.
So that means that out of every 20 people, there is one. Still seems like a whole lot. I wouldn't say that out of 20 guys I see, one is great looking.
What a poor excuse for being lazy because there is porn out there. The 'Hawt Guy' isn't going out unshaved (unless it's intentional), with dirty hair, bad glasses and dragging along 50 kg of fat.
You two have been going back and forward when you could both just walk outside and look at the first 100 guys you see and judge for yourself.