I can be a lazy sonofabitch, sadly. I let something sit for a while, because I'm too autistic (not literally) to do things in a sensible and linear fashion.
Well, what do you know, it turned out good anyway.
I just turned a gallon of store-bought juice into actually fucking delicious 14%+ ABV fruit wine.
Tastes a fair bit like a brandy. And very on-brand for my current piratical mood.
I. MADE. GOOD. BOOZE.
Get on my level, scrubs.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
3d print an airlock.
Buy pure apple juice in 2L containers.
Drill hole in lid, insert airlock.
Add 1 heaping tbsp of any kind of baking yeast.
Replace lid, and wait one week.
Cider!